I have been looking for an online community to share and learn from others about how to live and deal with the loss of my loved ones. I lost my husband Tommy to throat cancer on Oct 29 2014. I have lost loved ones before and have been able to go on with living, loosing my spouse is a whole different story for me.

In the past year not only did I loose my husband but I also lost a sister and my best friend, I never got the chance to deal with each of their loss before I was hit with someone else. I have been reeling with the devastation so long it worries me that I may never get on with life again.

I am disabled and had to have my daughters live with us so they could help me care for my husband. Our oldest daughter was my rock at the begining of this journey, but with the loss of my bestfriend at my house and she being the one to find her lets just say she is having a harder time than I thought she would. At this time she is in the hospital with a nervous breakdown. My youngest daughter and I are taking care of my two grandchildren while she gets the help she needs.

Does it ever get any easier to deal with the loss of your spouse? I am so tired of friends telling me I need to get on with my life... that is easy to say but so hard to do. They all stil have their spouses so what do they know of how it feels, most of them never even call these days. I don't go out, I neve leave this house. I don't want too. Is that normal? I don't know who to talk to, who to trust or who to lean on anymore. My world has totally changed.