Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Julie on June 28, 2010 at 8:37pm

Hi Kristine,
Try to Breathe... I know you are hurting and I feel your pain. At times, I feel like I can't catch my breath, it's such a terrible feeling. Sometimes soothing music helps me a bit, maybe it will help you as well. My Rabbi suggested that I try instrumental music at night to help me sleep. Just try to deal with each day as it comes because that's what I am doing. It gets terribly overwhelming to think about the future like you said, just concentrate on the here and now. Take each day as it comes because that's all we can do right now. Maybe it would help if you took a small dose of an anti-anxiety medication to help you through this very difficult time. It can be helpful if you are allowed to take it, but since you are pregnant I would ask your doctor first. You need to try and relax because like you said it's not good for you or for your baby. Your mom would want you to try and relax for her. She loves you and your baby very much and is watching over you now. I don't pray anymore, but I do hope that tomorrow is a better day for you. I am sorry and I understand.
Julie

Permalink Reply by Jan Duvenage on June 29, 2010 at 3:00am

Hi Kirstine, First and foremost , congratulations on your pregnancy!
I know these feelings that you are experiencing, it's only been 2 months since my wife passed away and everyday is a struggle looking forward to another day without my soulmate. We have to find that inner peace inside ourselves which is not easy as emotions above all rules our feelings. We also have to come to terms that we are not in charge of our destinies but only of how we live our lives day by day. I do know this and that is that our loved ones remain with us on a spiritual level and that they are and will allways be there for us in our moments of need and when we miss them the most. This does not make it any better as i sometimes just get this devestated feeling of complete loneliness and that i will never see her again, i have a good sob and then it just washes away and i'm left with a feeling of understanding that God watches over us, and we may not allways agree or even understand why we have to lose the ones we love, but that we have to accept it and make peace with it. I pray today for you that God will grant you the serenity, the peace and the understanding that He loves you and your Mom and that your Mom is now yours and the growing life in yours guardian Angel and that even though she is not with you in the flesh that her spirit is around you. Please remain strong and don't ever lose hope or faith as without these we are lost.

Permalink Reply by Diana on June 29, 2010 at 8:41am

You have my prayers honey. I understand the panic attacks. Its coming up to a year since the loss of my husband. and I am feeling many emotions. Many memories and much loss, and lonliness. but being a mother as well I know she would want you to take care of her Grandchild and I know your pregnancy gives her much happiness. So take care of you and baby for your Mom and feel comfort knowing she is right there with you helping you every day.
God Bless You

Permalink Reply by Kirstine Rushing on June 29, 2010 at 12:38pm

Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers. I am doing a little better today. I have to remind myself not to look at the long term, but remember to just take things one day at a time......