I wish the world will leave me alone so I can continue helping myself feel better. My partner hated it when I felt anxious or sad. Even when he was sick, he didn't want me to be sad. I took a break from my contract work after my partner passed away from non small cell lung adenocarcinoma. I needed time to just clear my mind.

But I have to face the world now and deal with all the paperworks associated with my partner's death. It is painful to look at his death certificate. What's even more painful is looking at the claim forms that you have to fill in. I feel like I am disrespecting my partner's memory claiming all these things. But if I don't then the government will just take it away. It's so sad.

I am aware that other people are suffering too. Some people don't have time to hit pause because they can't. I am so sorry and I apologise if I sound like I'm whining for nothing.

I also felt upset that our landlady demanded that I pay one month rent after she told me to take my time removing our things from our apartment. What's more upsetting was that she said she called the government agency here in Australia that deals with Lease and Rentals and told me that the bond money my partner payed when he moved in the unit will now go to her. Anyway, I payed the rent so I could part with her in good terms but her greediness had astounded me. I never want to see her again. Nothing good can come out of greediness and I hope she gets what she deserves.