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Permalink Reply by Lilly pizer on April 18, 2010 at 7:45pm

I remember feeling like that. I lost my husband 11 years ago... I often wish this life could just speed up so that I can see him again in heaven. But for some reason, I am here. I still havent really figured that one out, but there must be a reason. I am still having a hard time moving on. I have successfully filled my life up, yet continue to feel very empty and alone. Sometimes the lonliness is just overwhelming. You don't need people to tell you that it will get easier or that you are young and have your whole life ahead of you, that's what people told me. It doesn't change the fact that a very important person, perhaps your sole mate, is not here anymore... and how on earth can the WORLD continue in spite of your (and my) terrific loss. The truth is (in my situation) it doesn't get easier...it just changes. there are times when I can forget or put aside the pain for a while and laugh and smile and focus on something else. But it doesn't go away. I'm sure that I am not exactly lifting you up out of your pain, but I hope it helps to know that other people hurt they way you hurt. It's not fair that some people seem to have to go through more than others in this life. I don't know why it is that way. Some people seem to coast right through this life, and others have a rocky path with lots of bumps and bruises along the way. Im sorry for your pain and my thoughts are with you.

Permalink Reply by Suzanne on April 18, 2010 at 8:34pm

Dear Lilly,
I'm sorry for your pain too and I thank you for letting me know that you feel the same way. On other sites I have received posts that were helpful and not so helpful. There are those even in the grief support group that I recently started attending and online that have given me messages in a condescending (in my opinion) manner they say that 'they have been here longer than I' and 'I'll get through' and 'the healing will come in time,' and 'I need to get out of the house every day' and 'you have to go through the grieving process.' Well, I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to be healed, I don't want to do anything without Danny, and I know in my heart I will be heartbroken even if I live until the age of 95 although I hope not. I am just waiting to join my husband and I am really touched that you told me how you really feel. I feel exactly the same as you about everything you said, I could have written that word for word. Some day we will have no pain, but I will remember you in my thoughts and prayers for you to have peace in the present while we're here in some way. God bless.
Suzanne