Hello everyone I would like to start off by saying iam sorry for your lost and hope u find peace at the end of the storm. I just lost my father on April 25th and my world is completely shattered. As a child my father and I didn't have the best relationship not that I had any resentment for him but for the purest fact that I did not know him between jail and his addiction he stayed away I guess he didn't want my sisters and I to see him that way. My father battled his addiction since I can remember honestly I was about 7-8 yes old when I realized he was nodding out(the effect of the heroin) It was due to our environment. Our household consisted of a single mother of five children living in the projects with low income.I'm not a shame of where I come from I love it...I would not be the person iam today without my history. I love my parents my mother did the best to protect us and my father did the best he can to love us...I kno in my heart he loved all three if his daughters more than anything in this world. However he didn't feel the same about himself. My father battled depression as well...I was just to blind to see it. I wish I could of helped I wish I was more involved. Not once did I step in and try to help get him clean. I always felt like he had things under control. He always told me he was clean or just going or leaving detox. And with him going to jail...in my heart I was happy he was there I knew he was fed clean and safe...contrary to if he was on the streets in the free world. Mind you my father just came home from prison in feb of this year.Over the years and as I got older the relationship with my father and I got better. It actually became the father n daughter relationship it should have been. I let go of my anger towards him and excepted him for him. I love my father I truly do..its like God calls him home as soon as I got to kno him. I'm sorry for this long story and me venting. I have never done this but I don't kno what eles to do. Everything is upside down and full of guilt. I live in the state of Connecticut. And kno I don't live in poverty or have a huge house on the hill but we live in a well respected area. There has been a rash of "bad dope" going around ppl are overdosing like crazy. Its been all over the news since about January. I had a conversation or two with my father on this. The heroin is being cut with Fentanyl. Fentanyl is a narcotic patch that is worn for threedays ...the street dealers are cutting the dope with this..it is said to be known that fentanyl is 50-100 times more stronger that herion. Not to say any drug is safe but my father was on heroin for about as far as I kno and that's about 20 years...The sad part is ppl don't kno that the dope is cut with this...We have to get the word out to ppl across the U.S..let alone heroin can be the worst drug that can be done...but the fact that its tainted is even worst!!! My father was only 49 yrs old. Iam his oldest daughter iam only 29 I have not even gotten a chance to give my Father any grandchildren.he was to young to go.. I'm just so hurt. I can't find peace knowing I have so many unanswered questions.. Everyday its a struggle for my sisters and I...kind words only make me sadder...its like a consistent reminder of his death. The only thing I feel that would help is to make ppl aware of the additional dangers of this drug. I kno as time passes my family would be OK...but for rite now there's a bottomless Pitt in my heart and my soul I feel more and more empty everyday.. My mentor my idol my hero my father we will forever love you until I see you again I'll be counting my blessings and holding on to every memory of you..thanks everyone for listening/reading