Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Laura Rozier on April 17, 2013 at 10:02am

Hi Patty, I am so sorry for your loss.  My nephew died of an accidental drug overdose, he was 31, and he died June 18, 2012.  It was so painful and devastating for everyone, and obviously his parents (my brother and his ex) were the ones hit the hardest.  He left behind a sister he was close with, and a grandmother (my mom) who he lived with for 2 years while battling his addiction.  So while I know what some of the pain and grief is b/c we were pretty close, no one can know the pain of losing a child except someone who has lost a child, like you, and many others here who I hope you can connect with.  My children are young so I haven't had to deal with the potential of drug use yet.  But my nephew's addiction sure took a toll on everyone.  I hope you have some other means of support as well, a counselor, friends, family, to help you when you're feeling low and sad.  It helps to talk and have people who are willing to listen and empathize.  You're in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you will continue to reach out.

Permalink Reply by Bonnie Jacobs on April 18, 2013 at 6:01pm

Hi Patty, I am deeply sorry for your loss.  My 29 year old daughter, Sara, is in a coma and now Hospice has come in.  She had a very severe asthma attack and due to the many drugs in her system she could not survive the attack.  She was without oxygen for over 10 minutes and is now a vegetable.  She is just withering away and being kept alive on a ventilator.  My ex, her dad, and I brought Hospice in and ordered a DNR.  She only weighs 80 pounds right now and is all bones.  I have been grieving since it happened on December 15.  She had been using many drugs for a long time and she would not get help.  This was not her first overdose.  She just wasn't strong enough to reach out for help and I feel she was doomed.  Like Laura and I have discussed that she is really not with us.  I don't know how long she will linger on and it is pure torture.  Had your son ever overdosed before?  There is no greater loss that the loss of a child.  We were getting so close in our relationship.  She was standing on her knees trying to breath through her breathing machine but she couldn't get any air.  She kept saying that she was dying.  I had already called 911 and they got there fast.  She fell down on her knees and said she was going to faint then looked at me and told me she loved me and fell into my arms.  The paramedics found no pulse and they couldn't get the tube down her throat to bag her as her lungs were too tight.  They did chest compressions all the way to the hospital.  All of the drugs she had taken had depressed her respiratory system and she was without oxygen for over ten minutes.  She is just not there and her organs have begun to fail.  She did drugs all of the time and had expressed the desire to get off of them a few days before this happened.  She told me to take out a life insurance policy on her and that I would see.  We talked for a long time as she cried that she wanted to be her old self.  She was just to weak to try.  I am going through a terrible depression and guilt.  I feel that if I could have only gotten through to her she would still be with us.  At the same time I know she was bound for destruction.  I go from denial to acceptance a million times a day.  I can't imagine the day that will end her life.  I am scared.  I know she really isn't alive now and seeing her is very very difficult.  I was going almost every day and the doctor said if I continued that he would put me in the hospital.  I go about twice a week now and it still drives me crazy.  I don't know how I will survive the time when she dies.  I don't know how I am surviving now. I just can't believe she isn't coming back to us.  I know you must feel the same way. Talking to Laura helps me quite a bit and I will be glad to help you as best I can.  Laura is a good person and suffers along with us.  Maybe together we will be able to deal with all of this better.  Support is very important and I want you to know that you have mine.

Love and light, Bonnie

Permalink Reply by Bonnie Jacobs on April 20, 2013 at 2:45pm

Hi Patty, Just thinking of you today and am hoping this is a good day for you.

 

Permalink Reply by Sharon on February 14, 2015 at 7:22pm

I lost my son Sunday...he was only 24 years old. I know exactly what pain you are feeling. I'm so sorry. No one should have to go through what we've gone through.