Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Leila on October 30, 2015 at 5:14pm

Hi Shirley,
I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. I am also grieving the loss of my mother (April 18, 2015 from sudden, aggressive brain cancer). We were also together all the time. She was my best friend. I always feared the day I might lose her, even when I was little, and it is worse than I could have imagined.

I don't really have advice. I am so new to this myself. I have found that after six months I have some days that are better than others. I feel better when I'm busy and around people, but the minute I'm alone I am crying. I feel frustrated and helpless. I couldn't make my mom better or stop her suffering. I want her back with us and healthy, but I can never get her back. Everything happened so quickly and was completely unexpected. Sometimes it seems like a nightmare that I can't wake up from. I still can't believe she is gone.

You have found a wonderful support group here. I've found that unless someone has experienced a similar loss they don't know how to respond. Friends often avoid the subject, while others expect you to grieve for a few weeks then move on like nothing happened.

I don't believe there is any one way that grief works. It is different for everyone. People say time will make things better. I don't believe that, at least not yet.

I wish you strength, peace, and the support of friends and loved ones. Oh, by the way, we have the same last name! You don't hear the name Dynes very often.

Hugs,

Nancy

Permalink Reply by Shirley Dynes on October 31, 2015 at 10:27pm

Nancy,

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I am sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one while they go through an illness is very hard. My mother passed away after an18 month battle with ovarian cancer. It was very hard to watch her go through that. On those occasions when I feel kind of balanced I find myself looking for the drop. I know I should be thankful for the more even feeling instead of the bad. You are right when you say no one can understand unless they have experienced the same loss.

I, too, want my friend back healthy and happy.

When I was searching for an online support group and came across this one, I was not sure if I should join. I am glad that I did. The comments I have read have all been very helpful and understanding.

You are right about not hearing the name Dynes too often.

All that you wished for me, I wish for you.

Hugs,

Shirley