This group is definitely for me -- I really do miss my mom. Here is my story...
My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer on March 15th. She had been fighting nausea & weight loss for many months. She thought it was stress from caring for my dad, who was battling pneumonia. Then the vomiting started and she wasn't able to keep anything down. She had been to her family doctor, who put her on anti-nausea meds and told her to follow up in a couple weeks. She started feeling week, so went in to the ER thinking she was dehydrated from the vomiting. One test led to another and they found her abdomen was "full of cancer". Diagnosed as pancreatic cancer, but tumors were throughout her organs - stomach, kidneys, liver, lungs and colon. She was given 2-4 months, treatment was not an option.
We brought her to my home directly from the hospital and started hospice. For about two and a half weeks she was her normal self (other than the nausea) and surrounded by family and friends. She was baking, hanging out at the bonfire with her grandsons, feeding the chickens, etc. It was hard to believe she was battling this disease.
Then she went downhill, fast. Less than a week later, on April 6th, she was gone. I am grateful that she had those good weeks to see and talked to her loved ones. She had no regrets.
I was primarily responsible for her care. Initially, it was no big deal. Giving her meds, keeping track of visitors, trying to get her to rest. But those last few days were terrible. It is hard to remember anything else. People keep telling me that the happy memories will replace those at some point.
I'm just really struggling. Any advice?
