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Lost Without My Mom
I lost my mom on April 7th of this year to respiratory failure. Ever since then I've been depressed. She was my world, my best friend, my everything. I miss her so much. I find myself tossing and turning at night thinking about the day that she passed away. I knew she wasn't feeling well but I didn't know that it was as bad as it was. She suffered from gastritis often. So when she started to throw up a few days prior to that day I paid it no mind thinking she would pull through it cause she always had in the past. But later that night when I went into her room to check on her breathing was erratic, and she wasn't coherent at all. I was asking questions and she was unable to respond. I called 911 and stayed by her side until they got here telling her everything will be alright. When they finally arrived all they told me was that her blood sugar was high but I knew something else had to be wrong cause I've seen my mom when her sugar was high before and never had she been incoherent and unable to talk or sit up straight. When they got her to the hospital things took a turn for the worst and they say she passed and they brought her back and then she passed away again. When I got the news I kept thinking it was my fault I should have called sooner, or I should have insisted that she go to the hospital. I know I shouldn't be blaming myself but I cant help it. It hurts so much to know that she's not here with me or that I cant hear her voice everyday.
Three months prior to her passing I had a baby girl and she was my moms world. I never once thought I would be raising her without my moms guidance. It saddens me that my daughter will never get to know her grandmother and how much she loved her. Mothers day was extremely hard for me. I thought by going to church it would help me cope with the pain but I ended up breaking down and having to leave out of the service. People say it gets better with time but these are all people who still have their mother. So they have no idea what im going through. It doesn't seem like it will ever get better, and with her birthday being next Tuesday its going to be an emotional day for me. I know I have to be strong because I have a daughter to take care of but its so hard sometimes just looking at my baby girl will bring me to tears.
My deepest regret is not telling her that I loved her before they took her away in the ambulance. I know that she knew I did I just wish I would have gave her one last kiss and told her that I loved her one last time. :-(
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Stacey Wilson on
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Shannon,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how difficult this is for you. I lost my Mom, ( she was my world) on June 24th and there isnt a day I don't think about her or miss her.
She was in a diabetic coma and I didn't tell her I loved her either. I really think in my heart just like with you, that she knew .
My mother, was such a strong person and I know when I have a rough day, ( there are many) that I go visit her and my Dad for guidance. ( I lost him 4 1/2 years ago ) He was my world also.
I was blessed that my twin daughters who are almost 7 got to know my Mother , very well. When your beautiful little girl gets older you can show her pictures and make a scrapbook of her Grandma.
Do something that your Mom, loved on her bday. I cried On August 6th, my moms Bday, and my daughters and I went to visit her and My Dad, to be with them.
My church has been amazing however, there are some days when I get very sad and I dont go either.
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Please accept my condolences, I find it amzaing and yet heartening that we in the midst of our grief can console others, a true sign that human beings can really relate to one another.
I lost my mom on August 9th and Im so lost without her, she lived with me and i find myself waiting for her to ask me to take her here or there. We always did things together and I enjoyed her company so much.
I know what you are going through, I sometimes wonder how we can go through this world without our moms . I just want to see her again.
Im so glad there are sites like this where we can reach out to one another
Take care,
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I can relate so well...
My mum died on August 6th (sudden heart attack, found her dead in the bed), and I miss her every single day. My dad had died when I was 7, so that leaves me all alone. And I am just 25.
But you have a daughter, someone you can be strong for - I have no one left, even my family turned their back on me, saying it's my fault. And maybe it is? Just like you, mum was a little sick, lately, but she suffered from nervous bronchitis very often, and I didn't think too much of her coughing, or throwing up.
I even tried to commit suicide a few times, already, but I failed.
I hope it will get better one day.Hugs.
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