Unfortuntately the past two days have been miserable.

For starters I have been going to physical therapy for knee arthritis and worked with someone new on Saturday morning who stretched me too hard and inflamed my left knee. This meant a weekend spent at home resting, taking pain killers and using ice packs. Well, being stuck in the house was the last thing I needed because everywhere I looked I saw my Mom.

I don't have the money take my own place right now and am forced to stay here with my uncaring Dad in a house filled with memories of Mom. I constantly look at the love seat in our living room and remember her sitting there reading, sewing or watching television.

I'm so disgusted that even though I am a Weight Watchers Lifetime Member ( something Mom was very proud of) I wolfed down two slices of cheese pizza tonight. As a result, on top of everything else I feel ashamed at going off my diet because I am a weak person.

The whole time Mom was ill I went through so much and was always able to brave for her sake, but since she died I feel like someone who was covered in a suit of invisible armor held together by one bolt. Once I lost her the bolt was removed and I fell apart. I sometimes wonder if I will ever be able to put my life back together again!