Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Marla Sheree Moman on August 25, 2016 at 2:37pm

Heather, My Mom passed suddenly Nov. 23, 2015. I am still reeling in shock. Everything still seems as yesterday. I live very far out in the country in Alabama. I now care for My Dad who is 81. He is not in good health. The grieving & mourning is not getting any better for Dad or myself. When I am not with Dad at his home, I am at the cemetery with My Mom. I am single, live alone with my 4 legged kids & I recluse from society. When My Mom passed the world went silent for Dad & I. My sibling carried on with her career & family as though nothing happened. I wish I had an answer for the words you want to share in your letter. I know one thing:  I told Mom just before her head dropped:  Mom "JESUS" said, "that in "HIS" house there are many mansions & if it were not so "HE" would not have told us. I said, "Mom I will be alright." Take "JESUS" Hand & go get your mansion." Mom's head dropped & she went to be with "JESUS"

My Mom & I wrote letters all the time to each other. If Mom could not sleep, she would write me a letter & I in turn did the same. It was all about our love for each other & the lessons of life we experienced together that were the most special. I gave My Mom's eulogy which is not really acceptable here in the country, but at that point I didn't care what anyone thought about it or how it looked. I knew My Mom was pleased somehow. After Mom's eulogy I stepped over by her, kissed her cheek, placed a beautiful red glittering Christmas Bell in her hand & I said, "Mom, I want be alright as I told you, I will never be the same. I will take good care of Dad until "JESUS" calls him home & then Mom I don't know. At least each time I hear a bell I think of My Mom. 

Heather, pray about what you want in your letter. It will then come to you. I have found that planning something & then praying about it is the opposite of what I should do. I pray about it first & then it all comes together. I'll be praying that it all comes together for you. You know? Its already right there in your heart. 

Permalink Reply by Heather on September 23, 2016 at 2:58pm

Hi Marla,
Just wanted to say, Thanks for your thoughtful words. My anxiety complicated things and your suggestion of taking time to pray on it, helped to give me clarity. I finished the letter and felt that I said all the really important things that I had wanted to say...thank you so much.
I hope you are doing ok and looking after yourself. Wishing you peace, always...
Heather

Permalink Reply by Paula Marie on January 11, 2017 at 12:29am

I memorialized my mother by making a quilt out of her clothing (it's still not finished, but I work on it when I wish to feel close to her). I learned of this idea from a grief group I attended.

Permalink Reply by Heather on January 11, 2017 at 1:01am

Thanks Paula for this idea...such a comforting thing to have some of her clothes in a quilt that you can wrap myself up in... I have a few articles of her clothes so this might be something That could be made...I appreciate your suggestion. Take care.

Heather

Permalink Reply by Paula Marie on January 12, 2017 at 4:22pm

Hello Heather,

I'm so glad I kept my mother's clothes, as it seems as if clothes are the very first thing most people donate and are rarely kept as keepsakes. I would have done the same (although I have not managed to part with anything else she had yet) if this idea had not been given to me. I hope to display some of her other things in memorial boxes that can be hung on a wall. Also, this Christmas, I happened to come across some clear Christmas tree ornaments. I took the top off, rolled in one of her photos (a photocopy; although it took some time to re-open inside the ornament again) and then filled it halfway up with some of her jewelry. Then I put the top back on and hung it on our tree. Her picture was behind the glass surrounded by garlands of pearls (they weren't real pearls, but looked so festive). The ornament turned out so pretty, I made another one for my brother and his whole family really loved it. I never made a quilt before, so this is a challenging project for me, but I find it's not that hard -- it just takes LOTS of time! Luckily, I had a friend who could teach me, but there are all kinds of classes out there. I thought the same thing that you did! ~ How lovely it would be to wrap myself up in the clothes she wore! In the meantime, you could just cut up her clothes into squares for the future quilt. There's a great book out there called ""Crazy Quilting: The Complete Guide." One can use the smallest scraps of fabric and even use her buttons, etc. as decoration. If you don't have enough for a blanket you can easily make a pillow cover. I never thought of myself as a sentimental person before, until I lost my beloved mother! I Hope you find many ways to memorialize and remember your mom! The nice thing is, some of these things can be passed down through the generations.