Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Maddy on May 5, 2013 at 12:29pm

Hi Marie,

I too lost my mother this past March, on the 15th to be exact. Her death was also unexpected, shocking and tragic for us all. On top of that all, I am pregnant with my first child - which would have been my mother's first grandchild, something she was really looking forward to. I too was also extremely close with my mother, I was the only girl in the family and we had always had a strong bond since I was a little child. That all said, I can understand how you feel. I go between extreme sadness where I just cry and cry, to extreme anger at everyone connected with her death.

 

I am sorry you don't have any family around you to help you through this devastating time. I often think if it weren't for my brothers, father and husband I wouldn't get through this. Or worse yet, if I wasn't pregnant with a child that I desperately love I think I would've just sunk into depression earlier.

 

If you ever feel the need to chat, please respond or email me.

My deepest sympathies.

Permalink Reply by Marie N on May 5, 2013 at 4:10pm

Hi Maddy,

Thank you for your condolence. Please accept mine as well. I have to agree with you that I go thru the extreme sadness and anger a lot lately. Ive been told it's natural. I sure hope it is, because if it isn't I'm losing my mind. I too feel like I could sink into a depressed state. I have already been dealing with my cancer issues and my own health. So some days I'm right on the edge of losing it. I do  hope your pregnancy is going well. I'm glad you have support at this difficult time. Please feel free to contact me as well if you want to chat or vent or whatever. I'm here for you. Take care of your self.

Permalink Reply by Maddy on May 5, 2013 at 6:37pm

Hi Marie,

May I ask if you are seeking help for all this? I know some people do not like the idea of therapists, ets but my obgyn referred me to a psychologist and I find it really helps to talk to someone who was not at all connected with my mother. It allows me to share my feelings without worrying about hurting anyone else's. It also allows me to hear from someone who is trained in this and can put soem of my more "overblown" emotions into perspective.

Do you have a good support group for everything else you are going through? How long have you been dealing with cancer?

Permalink Reply by Mary on May 5, 2013 at 5:08pm

Hi Marie, my condolences to you.  I lost my mom a little over a year ago-March 22,2012. It is totally normal to feel extreme sadness. I did fall into a depressed state and it affected my health and my psychological well being-I became agoraphobic, afraid to drive very far, afraid to go certain places-totally NOT what I was like before my mother died. It does get easier but there are many periods of deep grief. I am not on here as much anymore but if you ever need to talk, just send me a message and it will let me know via email.