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Comment by Megan on November 22, 2011 at 7:11pm

having a really hard time today, not sure if it's because of the holidays or what. this will be my first thanksgiving in my 28 years that i'm not home with my family. i'll be celebrating it with my husband and friends but i'm really not looking forward to it. i'm feeling guilty about not being with my mom and brother but i think this is for the best, the thought of just the three of us is too sad.

it's been almost 4 months since my dad passed suddenly and while the bad days aren't as intense they're still really interfering with my life. i'm having a hard time motivating myself, especially when it comes to my business. it's failing and i just can't seem to dig myself out of this hole, i just don't have the energy. my main motivation was making my dad proud and not having encouragement from him is so hard. i find myself picking up the phone to call him for advice all the time. i even got excited about a christmas present idea for him the other day - then remembered he's not here anymore. 

i want to be able to focus on things that will better my life but i just feel so overwhelmed right now that all i seem to do is sit on the couch and worry. my mom just brought his ashes up for me and it has just made it so much more real. we never had a memorial for him (he didn't want one) so i guess it's all just hitting me again.

i really want to be able to feel joy again - both for myself and others. i've had happy moments since he passed but they don't seem to last very long. i just miss him so much, i don't know what to do. 

Comment by christianlee on November 22, 2011 at 11:44am

Thanks

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on November 22, 2011 at 5:53am

my dad would make the best pumpkin pie homemade for thanksgiving, and he made a killer apple pie too, made with lipton iced tea mix....wish i still had his recipes....you will be ok christian, and we are here for you hun

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on November 22, 2011 at 5:53am

ur not alonehun, we all support each other, this is the most loving community, in all groups...i have gotten so much solace from being here and talking and sharing...ss for your loss hun....lost my dad almost 10 years ago but the hurt never goes away....miss him so much, wish he was still here....

Comment by christianlee on November 22, 2011 at 4:37am

Im so glad this page is here. So many of us share the same feelings. It makes me feel like I'm not alone in this struggle without a dad.

Comment by christianlee on November 22, 2011 at 4:33am

My dad loved pumpkin pie ..I sure wish he was still here. He really is missed especially this week. When I lost my dad ...its like experiencing a whole new world
Nothing is the same. I sure don't sleep well anymore...thinking of dad ..I wake up and wish it was a dream that he's not here.

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on November 22, 2011 at 4:05am

i loved both my parents, so glad i had them....just wish i had long with them....

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on November 22, 2011 at 4:04am

i havent had my dad in about 10 years...its still fresh....thanksgiving is the hardest as he always made these wonderful meals...i wish he was still here....i miss him so much, he was the best dad in the whole world....i love you dad with all my heart and soul, and i know u would be happy that ive found a man to love and love me....god bless my dear father....im crying as i write this, maybe i needed to get this out....i love u so much always....

Comment by Elke on November 21, 2011 at 10:04pm

Last thanksgiving was the last holiday i spent with my dad. He collapsed on that day and it was the start of the end. He died in Feb. This will be the first major holiday without him and the thought of his empty chair at dinner breaks my heart.I don't know how I'll manage. I have a handicapped sister who is thrilled to be home, and mommy has alzsheimers and no memory of his death. I'm afraid she'll ask where he is though she rarely does. My heart breaks not just for me but my whole family, trying to keep it together for everyone, while trying not to cry. I don't know how I'll live through the day.

Comment by christianlee on November 21, 2011 at 4:51pm

Heather......I agree with you. I am dreading this week....used to look forward to the holidays. Not this one....feeling lost and sad...feeling very cheated in my life.

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