Comment

Comment by Annette Gallagher on March 6, 2012 at 7:51pm

Thank you.  Maybe through this site we can comfort and heal each other.

Comment by Andrea Clark on March 1, 2012 at 5:38pm

Annette - 8 weeks is not very long ago. I couldn't function for the first 3 months, and I still feel like I am very scatterbrained. I always think of what my dad would say, even in very ordinary situations. It does get better - at first I felt like I couldn't breathe, like a huge weight was sitting on my chest. Now I am just sad, and I miss him so very much. (my dad died in August). You will have your good days and your bad (good means you can function, and don't burst into tears over small stuff). I know the feeling of being overwhelmed. Just take it one day at a time, and give yourself permission to grieve and to not be perfect. 

Comment by christianlee on February 29, 2012 at 8:10pm

8 weeks is not very long. I still am 6 months from dads passing and its painful. So sorry Annette. I visit my dads grave a lot. His famous line was come back soon and visit. I almost hear him say that every time I leave the cemetery.

Comment by Annette Gallagher on February 29, 2012 at 6:56pm

I couldn't collect my Dad's ashes, i don't know why but i just couldn't.  I felt it was such a responsibility and he had never mentioned any place that was special enough for me to have his ashes scattered.  I asked the attendant at the crematorioum to scatter them for me and then let me know where he is.  My Dad was scattered in a lovely part of the rememberance garden and i find by going there laying flowers, saying hello, crying, talking to him - really helps me.  Dad only passed away 8 weeks ago.  I am consumed by grief and have found my life turned upside down and inside out.  Everything i do, i stop and think what my Dad would have done/said.  I love and miss him so much.

Comment by christianlee on February 29, 2012 at 6:54pm

Letting go from dad is very hard some days

Comment by christianlee on February 29, 2012 at 6:53pm

Thanks Andrea ....sometimes it seems time is going by too fast...wanting to hold on and not let go....

Comment by Andrea Clark on February 29, 2012 at 6:44pm

@christianlee - today is a hard day, I am sure. People say it does get better. My husband lost his dad about 6 months before we met, and he tells me it will get better over time. I have to believe that. Hang in there, tomorrow will be a better day.

Comment by marie on February 28, 2012 at 9:35pm

Thanks Storyas.

 

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on February 28, 2012 at 3:18pm

Maybe if you doubt you'll ever feel ready, maybe you could have someone go with you like my dad went with me to my mom's grave for the first time.  Just a suggestion - only you really know what is good for you.  My counselor did give me one piece of advice a couple of weeks ago:  don't think with your head; think with your gut.  If your gut feels good or bad about something, listen to that, because our head is so full of thoughts from every where, but out gut only responds to what is in front of us right now.  That advice has been helping me.  Maybe it will help you too - if it feels right to you.

Comment by marie on February 28, 2012 at 2:40pm

I have been wondering if I should just make myself go ahead and get the ashes or wait until I feel ready. I don't know if I'll ever feel ready. I'm just so new at the grief and it sucks!!!

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