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Comment by LJ on April 7, 2013 at 3:20am

This week both my kids won scholarships. Small things - one to a local university and one for dance tuition. No one cared like my dad would have...even my own husband. I miss my dad so much - he would have made such a big deal of this. My daughter received the award onstage at a local dance show and my husband couldn't be bothered to attend. I guarantee my dad would have been there even if it had caused him pain. I miss him so much. My son graduates in May and would have chose on my dad to cap him. Now I don't know. I just miss my dad.

Comment by Paddy Estridge on April 3, 2013 at 1:57am

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to share a personal project with you in the hope that it might help you in some way.

A close friend of mine was suddenly killed in early 2012, and in the aftermath, it occurred to me that there are limited online places to commemorate someone with your family and friends - so I built www.memorypins.org as a place to remember Rachael and for others to remember loved ones that they have lost.

The site allows you to set up a board in remembrance of someone, that anyone can post to , and also allows people to choose a charity close to their loved one’s heart that everyone can donate to.

I hope it helps in some small way to bring your memories of your loved ones together.

If you have any thoughts or questions I would be happy to answer them on this forum or my email: paddy@memorypins.org.

Best wishes,

Paddy

Comment by dream moon JO B on April 1, 2013 at 4:04pm

i no i shud go to church a bit more granakine but so far iv only bean going for funrellss now evry funrel seams to be geting worse

easta my dad loved easta i used to buy him a easta egg my mum a easta egg my dad wud eat his thn help my mum eat hers th if i got any it wud a bit of my egg 

i used to buy a pic mix swet stuf it all sorts of difrnt chok candy my dad wud eat most of it now i dnt buy it coz i fel sad my dad cnt eat it

my mum has depresion sins my dad died i jst wish death cud nevr happn

Comment by gramaokie on April 1, 2013 at 3:25pm

I went to church yesterday.  My mom still goes there too.  I met a lady who didn't remember me until I told her whose daughter I am.  The first things she said was, "I just loved your dad.  He always had a joke for me."  Daddy loved the church.  The Sunday before he died on Fri (5/3/10) he was able to go to church for the last time and they gave him a plaque in recognition of his service & dedication to the church.  I'm blessed to have such wonderful parents.  My little mother is trying so hard to be strong, but time is taking it's toll on her.  My brother died 8 weeks before Daddy and Mom found him in his apartment.  Just a few weeks ago she had to put Daddy's dog to sleep.  She's struggling with physical pain too.  It breaks my heart and I try to do my best to help her, but I haven't figured out how to take the physical or emotional pain away.

Comment by dream moon JO B on April 1, 2013 at 3:13pm

it dnt feal lik easta now it woz the sam lst yr my 1st easta lst yr witout my dad now th 2nd yr seams jst has hrd

i just hop alll our daddys r havin a beter tim up wear thy r 

my dad 2 lovd deserst he did any thng i left he wud eat my levings he did he lovd icecrem my dad did ur any cake 

he lovd any meat u cud eat lik a big turky leg or chickn beef pork he wud eat the turky leg or chickin leg in his hand isted of using a fork or nife he wud 

i miss al the silly thngs i dolik his silly songs he usd to sing or his jokes all the stuf ill nevr get to sea again

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 31, 2013 at 3:36pm

my dad lovd easta monique coz he lovd to eat a lot of sweets he did

he lovd any thn frm kit kats to mars bars or twixes he juts lovd sweet stuf he did

i no easta & xmas will be hard frm now on coz my dad lovd xmas 2 coz he cud eat a lot of food  lots of sweets he did

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 30, 2013 at 3:43pm

to dad happpy easta wish u wear still hear love u

Comment by Debra A. Whitemaine on March 27, 2013 at 7:09am

Hi Storyas,

I don't believe we could ever forget our loved ones that have passed.  I think your Mom would want you to continue sewing and that may be a great way to honor her. 

Comment by Storyas Fawnfeather on March 26, 2013 at 9:43pm

Denise - I know how you feel.  My dad died a year and a half ago, and I still miss him so much.  Just today I went to the JoAnn Fabrics in a neighborhood  near my dad's doctor.  Well, I was getting off the freeway exit and saw my dad's doctors building and started crying.  Then, I got to JoAnn Fabrics where me and my Mom used to go together all the time and then spend Saturdays sewing together, and I started crying again, and she died before my dad.  So many people tell me I should be over it, but I have decided at this point that I will never be over it.  We were like soul mates or something.  They completed me.  I'm not complete any more.  I have just faced the fact that although it is easier than it was when they first died, that I will never be right again without them, and that is just something I have to live with.  I wonder if it is because I was so close to them - and most especially my Mom as Mothers and daughters always have their own little female bond and sharing going on but I loved them both always - or if the other people are grieving as much as me and just hiding it better than I do.  I don't know.  I do hope that it one day gets better for you.  I don't know if I want it to get any better for me any more - I'd rather hurt than not feel them at all.  But, maybe it is getting a bit better as I haven't sewed since my Mom died and I decided that I want a green skirt, so I went to the fabric store and bought green fabric today.  My creativity seems to be coming back a bit.  I have this old velvet dress that I don't want any more, and I decided to cut it up this weekend and make a hobo bag out of it since velvet is so expensive.  I haven't really sewed since my Mom died, so maybe the fact that I was willing to face the pain and become a little creative is a sign that I'm starting to heal.  I don't know.  I just don't ever want to forget them.  I don't ever want to stop cherishing what we had together.  Every day I want to be able to get in my car and drive to their house like I used to.

Monique, maybe they are hurting as bad as you are but just hide it better or are in denial or don't want to look weak - but how can we ever know unless they someday open up to us.

jb - I agree with you - it's like I just said earlier in this post - I will never be the same.  It might hurt a bit less now than it did when it first happened, but I will never be the same.  I just have to accept that and recognize that even though it hurts that I am lucky that I loved my parents so much that I can't be the same without them.

Comment by dream moon JO B on March 24, 2013 at 4:40pm

it dose help on hear monique it the only plase wear evry 1 undastands us  wear no 1 says get over it i no none of us will get over lozing our loved 1s coz we no its hard

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