Hi. My name is Kelley and I'm new on here. I lost my dad last year on June 19, Fathers Day. He was 74 years old. His passing was unexpected and sudden. He had a 4 and 1/2 hour surgery three days prior to his passing and all of the doctors working with him, 3 in total, all said he was recovering nicely. At 3:11 am on June 19 the nurse found my dad w/ no pulse and no respirations. Despite the hospitals efforts, they were unable to revive him and called his time of death at 3:27. I have so many feelings still going through me. I feel guilty that I pushed him to go to the doctor which lead to his surgery which lead to his death. I feel sad and hurt and guilty that I wasn't there to tell him I loved him or to hold his hand as he passed. He was all alone and I can't get over that. I thought I was fine but I'm not. I don't know if it is because the anniversary date is approaching or what but I miss my dad soooooo much and all I have done is cried for the past four days. I was his caregiver in his last year of life and am forever grateful for the time we had and how much closer our bond became because of me taking care of him. He was all I knew. He was a single father and a great one at that. I don't feel empty because I have my loving husband and beautiful kids but I definitely feel like there is a hole in my heart that will never heal. I just don't feel complete anymore. He was my world and I know deep down he knew that and I know that I was his world. There was never a doubt in my mind about that. I have not really talked much to anyone about his passing and how it's affected me. My husband, bless his heart, is not real sure what to do or to say to me and sometimes I feel like he thinks that I should just get over it but it's not that easy. I don't know what to do half the time. Any tips?