I never claimed I was good at it.

Hello all. I am the shy one who lurks here but never says anything. I lost my daddy almost two years ago, and still struggling. To help me deal with it I write poems. I thought I would share one that I wrote today with you all. Please forgive me if this is not the proper place to post this. Well, here it is. I hope it brings someone else a little comfort reading it as it brought me to write it.  

 

What would you give,

to have your daddy back?

To hear him say,

everything will be okay.

How does a girl live,

without her dad?

All the things she needs,

that only he could give.

 

What would I give?

I would hug you more,

and give up looking cool.

I would do better with my life,

even finish school.

I would give you memories,

you deserved to have.

Never be ashamed,

to call you my dad.

I would read the books,

you wanted me to.

So we could discuss,

something we both knew.

I would make you proud,

of how I spent my days.

Never make you worry,

while I was away.

I would stay closer,

instead of moving so far.

I would be grateful,

for my first car.

I would never complain,

about the damn drive.

When you just wanted to make sure,

your baby was still alive.

I would ask you more questions,

and take your advice to heart.

I would smile and say Thank You,

when you said I was good at art.

I would do more with my brain,

when you insisted I was smart.

 

I would do everything I could,

to make you see,

just how much,

you meant to me.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jessica Manning on February 16, 2011 at 3:29pm
Wow- I loved this! I lost my dad back May of 2010-- everyday's hard, I'm trying to trust God more and more but somedays I miss him like crazy! I cant have him back but if I did I would def. do things different !
Permalink Reply by Mel Joyce on February 19, 2011 at 2:22am
keep writing, it's a great process to help you deal and get through the feelings you have. Thanks for sharing. I will keep you in my prayers.
Permalink Reply by Stan Goldberg, Ph.D. on February 25, 2011 at 8:06am

Hi Cindel,

 

Never apologize for expressing your emotions or thoughts through poetry.  I think some of the best things I ever wrote were poems. We often look back at our interactions with loved ones who have died and wonder if we gave enough thanks, did what we should have, and a thousand of other things.

 

As a dad with two adult children I knew how appreciative both are of me, even when words aren't used. The description you have of your relationship between you and your dad says to me that even though you may not have expressed all you wanted to, he understood. Your last stanza,

"I would do everything I could,

to make you see,

just how much

you meant to me."

 

My guess is you did.

 

Take Care,

Stan

Permalink Reply by Crystal Ann Spaulding on April 11, 2011 at 12:40pm
Thank you! You have put into words beautifully what I am feeling. All these regrets that I have spoken in just the right way. I lost my father just a month ago. I feel like I am way to young for this, he was only 50. But of course everyone is too young to lose a loved one. I would so do things different if only I had a chance.
Permalink Reply by roseygonzales@msn.com on April 20, 2011 at 10:14am
Cindel, I started to read your poem and my eyes whaled up...ugh!  It's a good thing.  I lost my daddy 10/30/2010, I will NEVER ever forget that day and that phone call...ugh (again lol)  But coming back to you, girlfriend even tho we miss our daddys it is never to late to talk to him. God has a way of healing the pain.  Just talk to him..you have a wonderful way with words...your poem incrediable.  Keep writing this is your way of saying how you feel don't keep it bottled up inside.  God is going to help you through your pain...God bless you and remember Jesus does love you!!!!!

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