He's only been gone for 3 weeks but it feels like a lifetime ago

Im new here and Im hoping to find some comfort with all of you.

My Dad passed away on May 24,2013.

We were told his cancer had returned on 12/26/13 & the Dr's gave him 6 months.

He fought up until the very end, so very typical of my father.

He was my rock - my world was safe because he was in it.

Yesterday was my first Father's Day without him & yes, it hurt. But the last 3 weeks have hurt so badly it was almost like every day since he's been gone.

I miss him more then words could ever fully express.

When I was 15 my parents divorced. At 16 I became pregnant & my mother decided to move to NC with her boyfriend.

My poor Dad was stuck with a 16 year old pregnant daughter & he loved my daughter & I more then anything in this world.

Watching him suffer the last few days of his life was torture. It physically hurt my heart to see a man who I loved so much suffer.

On May 16,2014 I wrote a letter to God asking him to please end his suffering.

Thankfully he was aware & alert before he left us.

In fact, the Friday before he died ( he died the next day), he told me "Ill be gone in 24 hours and he was.

But I got to tell him I loved him & I have absolutley NO regrets. I spent a lot of time with him. He was a part of my every day life.

Now here I am, just a little over 3 weeks and I havent seen nor spoken to him.

I think it's starting to set in that he is really gone.

Im grateful for all the memories we shared, all the wisdom he taught me & for the bond that we shared.

As I said in his eulogy, nothing, not even cancer can steal our memories. And I am so lucky to have enough memories to last me a lifetime.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

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