My name is Saurabh and I live in Cave Creek Arizona. About a month ago(05.15.2021) I lost my younger sister(Neha, 35) to covid-19. She has left a loving husband and a beautiful 6 year old daughter. She lived in India.
This pandemic has hit all of us some way or the other. For me, it has hit in the most brutal way I could ever imagine, taking away my sister from all of us. I was in the US when she was struggling with the virus at home and at hospital. She was 6 months pregnant. The sheer thought of helplessness and hopelessness while she was sick makes me feel very sad. I feel very very guilty about not travelling to India( I was scared for myslef that I might get the virus if I travel) and try to help her get though the sickness. How do I deal with this guilt.? I just cry, cry and cry more thinking about all this. I never got to say her Good-Bye. One moment she was there(alive on ventilator though) and another moment she was just gone.
My both parents are alive and it is so devastating for them to see this day when their beloved daughter is gone from this world. Being a elder brother I have a responsibility to take care of them. I have a responsibility to take take care of my sister's husband and their daughter too. But in all these responsibilities, my loss has been overshadowed. I know this might sound selfish but why a sibling loss is so underrated. I want to grieve too, cry, weep.
I have found this forum online and am seeking help from people who have gone through a similar loss.
Suggest me some support groups, some individuals whom I can talk to.