How much do we tell others and when?

My dtr was 8 months old when my husband died.  He had cancer and ended up taking his life.  My daughter is now 11 years old, and I have never told her that he committed suicide or how he actually died.  There just never seemed to be the right time or the right age.  Now she is in middle school and though I think she is mature enough to hear and understand, I worry how this indformation might affect her emotionally if I told her now, so I kind of think I should wait until she is older, but then I worry that when I do tell her that she will hate me for holding it back from her.  Does anyone have any suggestions or thoughts about this?  Should it be my little secret forever?

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Permalink Reply by Lilly pizer on May 2, 2010 at 7:11pm
I know Linda, it is such a delicate situation, being a parent is really hard. I hope when the time is right I will know and it will go smoothly, I like your suggestion about getting some additional support. I didn't intend for it to be a secret its just when she had questions she was really little and I found it to be too hard to explain... and as she got older it was a too hard to bring up, if she wasn't asking about it. I hope I made the right decision.

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