Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jennie on March 7, 2022 at 10:05am

Cecila,  I'm so sorry for you. Cherish your memories and may you gain closure in time.

Permalink Reply by Cecilia on March 7, 2022 at 10:08am

Thank you

Permalink Reply by Kelly on March 9, 2022 at 4:59pm

It is overwhelming. You will learn to recognize when it’s coming, delay your reaction until it is an appropriate time for you to let those feelings out, sleep and eat normally, and even have some feeling other than sadness again. You learn to love with it and manage it. But it still comes at times when triggered or when tired, and it will never go away. You have to find a time and place to feel those feelings completely. So be kind to yourself. Have few expectations and plans for yourself. And if you find someone or something that makes you feel a little lighter even for a few minutes, be with that person or do that thing as much as possible. I can look at his pictures now and still be able to breathe. That’s some bit of healing. Hold tight.

Permalink Reply by Cecilia on March 9, 2022 at 8:54pm

Thank you, Kelly. I had to put away anything he's ever given me. I can't look at them without crying. I have to force myself to eat & sleep...and sometimes breathe. Emptiness surrounds me. I've always been an intuitive, sensitive, spiritual person, but I can't feel him. And it's the little things I miss (the touch of his hand, his smile, the way he looked at me) that hits me like a ton of bricks when I'm making my bed, getting dressed, driving, or even picking something up from the store. I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe that that chapter in my life is over. My heart is broken.

Permalink Reply by Kelly on March 10, 2022 at 7:06am

You poor thing. I remember it well and still feel it often. It’s a tidal wave. I see mine coming at me now when it comes. But it is no longer constant. There is nothing anyone can say or do to ease your pain. But we can listen and sit in it with you.