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Permalink Reply by Kim on May 3, 2012 at 7:03pm

I'm not one to talk, because I don't take my own advice but I think you should get help before you hit rock bottom.  What you're feeling is normal, but what concerns me is when you imagine ending your own life to be with him again.  If you said that you imagine what it would be like to see him again or when you would next see him in another life, I wouldn't be concerned.  Maybe, it was the way you phrased it but maybe not.  Anyway, the point I am making is that I feel you should get help.  Hitting rock bottom is something, if you can, to avoid. 

 

I hope this helps.

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Permalink Reply by Liz Ann on May 4, 2012 at 1:37am

It does, thank you! I'm finding on my own I can't gauge how I am coping, so I just seem to meander til I feel worse

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Permalink Reply by Erica Garcia SanMiguel on May 9, 2012 at 1:41pm

Liz I lost my mom Feb 22nd and I have not been the same and I honestly think I will never be same again. I know that roller-coaster ride you are going through and I'm just speaking from my own pain and hurt I have already seeked help because I was also having those thoughts of just wanting to end everything so that I could be with her. She was not only my mom but she was my best friend. I have seen therapist a few times in the last month and although I still hurt it has helped me to grieve and mourn without feeling guilty. good luck and if u ever need to talk just let me know I do not get much sleep these days so it does not matter the time of day.

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Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on May 11, 2012 at 6:06am

Death is not natural. In fact the Bible calls it an enemy. " As the last enemy, death is to be brought to nothing."

Death is such a painful thing that even Jesus was moved with deep emotion when he experienced the loss of a loved one.

John 11: 33 Jesus, therefore, when he saw her weeping and the Jews that came with her weeping, groaned in the spirit and became troubled; 34 and he said: “Where have YOU laid him?” They said to him: “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus gave way to tears.

If Jesus was troubled then how are we to be? OVERWHELMED!!!

But there is comfort to be had. We can have hope. And hope gives us a future to look forward to.

When we lose someone in death, it seems so final, so hopeless. We feel so out of touch because we have no control. We feel helpless. If we educate ourselves about what the future really holds for us and our lost loved ones then we can gather some hope and feel comfort. We will gain direction and purpose, and we will not feel so helpless. We will still have pain. That will not go away. But the comfort, hope, and purpose we gain will help us get through each day.

How do we get this? In my experience by seeking truth about death. Why do we die? What happens to us when we die? And what hope is there for us when we die?

A famous man once said. “ If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair. ” 

I agree with that very much.

I believe that I will NOT have to die to be with my loved ones again. I believe that my loved ones will come back to me. If you read the same account in John that I quoted above - Jesus brought the dead man back to life and he was reunited with his family right here on earth. They were overjoyed as you can imagine. I believe that this is exactly how it will happen in the future. And I believe it because this is what the Bible really teaches. This gives me hope and reason to live on.

Yes, there is much comfort to be found in what the Bible really teaches on this subject.

So I would encourage you to pray and search Gods word. The truth is there.

With all of that being said, my heart goes out to you. I will mention you in my prayers by name and if there is any thing that I can do to comfort, or help just let me know.

Dennis

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Permalink Reply by Liz Ann on June 11, 2012 at 2:56am

Thank you so much for your reply! It really touched my heart! I sometimes feel like James is right with me, right inside my heart almost.

What would you recommend I read when I'm in my hour of need? i used to have James to help me with my pain, but I feel like our communication is on borrowed time and not always clear. I wish I knew what to do

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Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on June 15, 2012 at 6:23am

Liz Ann

You and James must truly be best friends. I know that when we lose someone that we are so very close to we get a hole in our heart that cannot heal. Nothing can fill it. True we can move forward in our lives and redefine purpose, and learn to cope with the gaping hole in our heart, but the hole is still there. We might even be able to numb ourselves of the worst of the pain as time goes on, but pain is still there. Loss is exactly that, LOSS!!

That is why we need to have HOPE!! Hope based on absolute truth of a matter gives us as much purpose as possible. It focuses us on the real future that we can have.

Here are some links to some information that I find very comforting. It is about death and suffering but the information is based on what I believe is the TRUTH that is really in the Bible.

http://www.watchtower.org/e/bh/article_06.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/e/bh/article_07.htm
http://www.watchtower.org/e/bh/article_11.htm

Read them along with your Bible and meditate on what God's word is saying to you about this topic. It won't take the pain away, but it can work like a salve bringing comfort to those that are mourning.

And again, if there is anything I can do to comfort or help just let me know. I will keep you in my prayers

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Permalink Reply by Tina W on June 14, 2012 at 8:57pm

I lost my dad jan 28 and my mom April 9th both unexpectedly and young. I started to see a therapist to talk to someone because I would cut my arms to take the pain away. I'm 25 and losing my parents is the hardest thing ever. I have their pictures in frames but most times I can't even look at them because it hurts so bad to see their face. My dad was burried and my mom cremated and times I will go to my dads grave and sit there on the grass right next to him as if he was laying right there but 6 feet down and just cry and talk to him.  Everything that your experiencing and going through is just your part of grieving . If you feel like anything u think or may do is dangerous to ur self than I would get help before rock bottom. Ieven if it's just a therapy session to get professional advice . I'm sorry for ur loss tho, hope all goes well.

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Permalink Reply by Michelle W on August 9, 2012 at 8:16am

Liz Ann,
My son was killed after going to a championship football game in November( I only say this detail because it just haunts me, they made the two schools drive two hours up a mountain road to watch their school win)my son was full of school spirit and played his freshman year until he switched his sport to basketball... His friend was driving and he survived... My son didn't ... He died on a highway a couple hours from home after he watched his team win... Me I've been to coucelling( with my husband) I've been to group ... It's been I think around eight months I try not to think about what happened... I'm sure I should seek some type of help because as you said... I do obsess on pictures missing my son... I know his friends have a few videos with him in ... I would just die to have them but I just don't want to stir up a bad day for them... If I'm not beyond busy.. All I can think of is him..what if what if what if... I now have horrible panik attacks and I now question lifes meaning completely...if you figure a good way to deal just let me know.. Cause this is so bad... The pain..the forgetting of everything.. My mind is just tired...good luck.. Michelle

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