The Worst Pain of all

As I approach the 3rd year without my lady, I thank my God for the gift of the 24 years I had with her in marriage and then sti down and let the knife stabbing burn ing pain from hell soak through my body. It never gets better. This pain is worse than any physical pain and this pain never...never goes away. The tears that burn the eyes rain down on a regular and daily basis and my suicidal thinking is ramping up.I told my counselor. I just can't take this pain anymore. Of course, he replied, "Sure you can, you already are". If I was taking it I would feel fine wouldn't I...Yet, the fire from hell continues to scorch my soul and I beg for God to take me now and release me from my waking nightmare and horrible existence which serves me no good...no good at all...Grief is yelling not whispering.  I wish it would shut up. I need some peace. This group helps quiet the voice of grief. Perhaps one day, it's voice will be completely quiet...when I am reunited with my gift from God and am at peace

Thank you everyone.....This group is a lifesaver.

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Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on February 23, 2018 at 6:20am

I am so very sorry.

I can’t even imagine what your pain is like. My wife has battled cancer 6 times and we thought we were going to lose her on more than one occasion. I have suffered several difficult losses but at least I still have my wife.

i do know this...what helps me is a clear and positive hope for the future. I believe what the Bible tells us. It describes reunions with our loved ones that we have lost. 

Mark 5:42 — And immediately the girl rose and began walking. (She was 12 years old.) And at once they were beside themselves with great ecstasy.

This is an account of a family devastated by a death and then overwhelmed with ecstasy with the reunion.

I know that our future doesn’t take the pain away...but it can give us hope, and hope helps us get through.

I wish you the best, and if there is anything that I can do to help please let me know. 

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