Well, I opened my eyes..once again...and slowly reaiized that  It is here!  the first anniversary of the morning I held Nancy in my arms and she died! I am shell shocked!  Numb and panic stricken at the same time!  I am having trouble breathing, my mind is racing and I am totally lost. I am realizing all over again exactly what I have lost! Everything. I am planning to visit the grave today and place some flowers there and spend a few minutes in quiet meditation. I think I will remove April 29th from next year's calendar.  God Bless us all in pain as we continue our journey.