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Not sure how to open up my feelings
I have been reading these discussions on here and I notice I wasn't alone with these feelings I have. Theres many of you also lost your partner, I am truly sorry what you are going through. After the accident end of last year, I decided to move back to my mom in California because I could not afford to live by myself. I did not have much social to friends outside school much back then, my mom wanted me to focus on my education, so I was in depression in high school. Then I met my prom date aka my soulmate after I finish high school, he brought me happiness and made me felt safe, for ten years of our 20s, we fall in love like teenage couple and we fight like married couple, we do things together like husband and wife, we took care of responsibilities. He was a very nice man, he treat everyone like they where his brothers and sisters, he was working so hard at his new job, he would come home late from working at night in the restaurant, then his boss told him to take a day off, that night on the way bike to the store, he was hit by a speeding car left him dead. I'm sorry if I left a such a long story. My world, my life felt like its was torn apart when I found out. 10 years walking up to him, I'm so scared to move on without him, he was the one brought me out of my unhappiness, I'm hurt inside, I'm crying inside, I don't have too many people I know to talk to, I silence my feeling in front of everyone, I tell them I'm ok but I'm not, I felt like if all this was not real, I'm not real, this feeling is driving me crazy
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Paula Marie on
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I'm so sorry to hear about this. Several years ago I experience a similar experience. I know how you feel. It's like you have been thrown into a new reality that you never wanted, or asked for, and would do anything to have the previous one back. But no matter what you do, it's out of reach and unbearable.
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Permalink Reply by FLORA on
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Hi Jennifer, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you're going through. I lost my partner of 8.5 years one month ago today, (valentines day) the pain is unbearable!!! my whole world changed in an instant. I think I've cried more in the first two days of his loss then I have in my whole entire life!! this has got to be the worst feeling I have ever gone through. How do you move on when your entire life has been ripped apart?? Everything that was important to me just doesn't matter anymore, and as mush as I try and do things to keep busy or keep my mind occupied but it doesn't help, Everything around me reminds me of him. Everyone try to be understanding and sympathetic, but unless you've gone through this, you really don't know the impact it has on my life. It's like my mind in on auto rewind, it keeps playing over and over, the same dark, lonely, and awful feelings. I sometimes wish I could just delete him completely from my mind, this way It can't hurt me.
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