Hello,

Last year on May 8th I was told through a facebook message from my brother that my mother had passed away (yes! Facebook!!!). I took a flight to Europe and after what seems like an unreal crazy two weeks, I finally kissed her good bye.

My mother has not always been a good mom, but I know she loved me very much and so did/do I. Unfortunately, she was an alcoholic. As a teenager I resented her a lot for it, as an adult I just think that "it is what it is". She didn't have an easy life, and even less once she married my father. We had finally come to be in a good place her and I.

In a nutshell, I had to take care of everything. From the flowers to notifying the proper authorities to putting her cloths in bags to be donated (I was in "robot" mode doing that; it's terrible). I had to put up with my  brother constantly drunk or high on whatever drugs he was on then. He refused to even buy her flowers or even chip in with me.

He did make sure to put the rights to the family land in his name before she passed (nothing big, but still) and my guess is that he pressured her. He's a violent person. I am not even going to fight it. I live in the US now and I want to put everything behind me. He stole the money that she had stashed in the house. Accused a tenant which means that an autopsy had to be performed in case of foul play. I am a science major now, and I know what goes on during an autopsy. I would forgive my brother a lot, but that I just can't. It was unnecessary and it's just so.. sordid? Who does that?

My aunt keeps calling me and constantly nags me about my mother's grave and what's going on back home. But what does it matter? She is dead, she is not coming back, and I live across the ocean. What am I supposed to do???

I lost my sister 4 years ago, and I know how grief goes, but this is different. It hit me hard. A year later I still cry. I want to call my mom all the time, just to ask her advice you know? There is no woman alive that can replace her.

So mother's day is coming up, and the calendar this year is pulling a joke on me, since it falls on May 8th.

To top it off I just discovered that the man I have been dating, that I thought loved me, is married. I was supposed to move to the same city in June and now I find myself with no apartment at the end of the month (I gave my notice). I am not sure if I should tell his wife.

Anyway. Thanks for reading. I know it's a crazy story and I needed to let it out.