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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on December 25, 2014 at 3:23pm

i feal mad at god 2 day xmas day miss evry 1 its gon no fone calls off 1s its gon in 2014 no fon calls of 1s ots gon in 2013 no fone calls off 1s its gon 2012 evn 1s in 2011 thn few bfre 

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Permalink Reply by Jesse's Mom on December 25, 2014 at 4:58pm

Yes, today I am just so angry this is my life...and that my son, who was so good and true had to die such a horrible death and then have lies spread about the events of his passing.

Yes, I am so pissed off....

 

Sorry Jo for you feeling so alone...hugs...

 

Sending thoughts of peace out to you today Bluebird. Miss your postings and honesty.

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on December 26, 2014 at 4:02pm

im still mad 2 day 2 laurie

it wud of bean my dads bday we wud of all bean on drink we we wud of 

its so not fair yore son is not hear for u 

im pisstoff 2 

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on December 27, 2014 at 3:19pm

i miss evry 1 its gon pain seams 2 get big not easy 1s it say its easy not had a loss 

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Permalink Reply by Jesse's Mom on December 27, 2014 at 6:44pm

Thanks Jo B for the post back...I feel like I have finally woken up and I have been stranded on some desert island with nothing in sight for miles....I think the denial was so thick the first two years...now is has almost slipped away leaving me totally exposed...in my mind I can so quickly replay the events of that day...and slip into the horror of that moment...
 
...I am doing what I have to for now...but am barely treading water...it is hard just to speak my son's name outloud because the pain is so icy hot...

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on December 28, 2014 at 3:44pm

im lost in fog coz of 2 mush loss laurie dad dies thm multi loss non stop its lk a train crash of death or stuk in ths horbl pain coz of death 

pain is 2 big 2 num it is 

ths pome gets 2 me a lot it dos do not cry iv cry non stop 

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on December 30, 2014 at 3:34pm

news eve tomro new yrs day thus it still dont stop pain of grief away 1s it say it gets easy im lk bull shit it dont get easy pain seams 2 get big 2 big

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on December 31, 2014 at 3:37pm

new yrs day nxt day well tomro but it still dnt feal norml it dont

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Permalink Reply by Jesse's Mom on January 2, 2015 at 1:09pm

Thanks Jo for sharing the poem...

 

And also Marie, for your original poetry, My Christmas Angel...

 

It is so hard to think I just passed my third New Year's day without my son...spent most of the last few days sick -- I think I got the flu -- probably from the stress of it all...

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on January 2, 2015 at 3:32pm

not fealng grt my slf laurie cnt kp any thng dwn 

i feal so low new yr a lot missin not bean hear any mre 

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Permalink Reply by MarieSte on January 2, 2015 at 4:35pm

Hope you feel better soon Jo B hugs.

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Permalink Reply by MarieSte on January 2, 2015 at 4:34pm

Thanks Laurie hope you feel better soon.

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