Lost Mother, Father and Wife

I real Father died in March 2012.  I found his obituary online.  I was not listed as a relative. I discovered my Father cut me out of his will. We had not spoken in years.  Two weeks later to the day my Mother, who lived with me, died from a heart attack. That same month my wife of 13 years was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. She died at home on July 23, 2013.  I have had a few sad moments and I have accepted their deaths, however I have never cried over any of their deaths and have continued on.  I live alone in a 3000 sq foot house that is now just a roof over my head. It's like all the air and sprite has been sucked out of the house.  I love my country home and can not conceive of downsizing, but it is not the same home it use to be.  I have 4 grown children. One son in prison in Texas for drugs who is due to get out next year.  One estranged daughter in California, and 2 daughters who live about 60 miles away. My 2 daughters who live near have helped a little, however they know I have been basically alone wolf all my life and that I am very pragmatic person.  Still wonder why I can not cry.

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Permalink Reply by Fae McBride on September 9, 2013 at 9:57pm

I'm so sorry for your many losses, I can't imagine. Did you ever get professional help? I know pouring your heart out to a stranger sounds corny but that is what has always helped me. Writing letters and talking to your past loved ones also helps open up your buried emotion. I know for me personally I wouldn't want to live in that house. But you have to take time and decide for yourself what feels right. 

Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on December 28, 2013 at 7:27am
Richard

I am sorry for your losses.

But don't be to hard on yourself. Mourning is a very individual thing. It is VERY personal. It's not a matter of right or wrong. The only concern would be the tendency for some to be in denial. Doesn't sound like you are suffering from that though.

Just take it all one day at a time. And many experts would encourage you to refrain from making MAJOR decisions until some time (maybe even 12 to 18 months) has passed.

And of course with every major event in our lives comes the opportunities to reflect, learn, and change our own course to better things moving forward.

At any rate, if there is anything we can do, please let us know.

Dennis

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