As I write this I am getting ready to go to my ex-girlfriend's funeral. I lost my ex-girlfriend on March 22 she was a recovering addict's who had a relapse. She died from a heroin overdose. We had recently started seeing each other and talk together again and I discussed the possibility of getting back together, she overdosed on a Sunday afternoon and I was supposed of been there with her that evening. I have all kinds of emotions that I'm feeling, guilt been a huge one. I know it wasn't my fault that she did this , it was the disease of being an addict. I am just trying to find ways to cope. I have no one to talk to that actually understands how I feel. I get a lot of, "I'm sorry". I appreciate everybody who tells me that, but it's starting to get to me.

It seems like every day gets a little bit easier, but little things will just set me off and I will lose it.