I was adopted shortly after birth. I grew up with a mother and a father. In my 30’s I searched and met my birth mother, and have developed those relationships over time. I have photos of 2 sets of parents and me. My Father had prostate cancer for about 20 years. Sometimes it is a slow growing cancer, but it spread into the bones and was causing pain. I was talking to my mother about starting Hospice for my dad, and on a follow up call, my dad said the she was feeling sick with the flu. My dad was 92, my mom 86.
Focus changed to my mother needing to go to the hospital, and discovered that she had gangrene of the intestines. In a week she was dead, and I flew back for the funeral. I talked to my Birth mother, and even after losing a mother, I still had a hidden card, another mother.
A week later I got a call that my birth mother had a stroke. She was in the hospital. And as quickly, she also died.
My Dad was in hospice care, and even though he had just weeks to live, he was on the edge of death of 2 months, and then he passed. He was buried next to my mom, and many of the same people came again to the funeral home, church, and grave site.
Searching for the will, (I know that should have happened before) I discovered that the medical expenses that my dad was going through had caused them to go bankrupt about 1-2 years before this. This was a complete surprise. We had talked many times with each other, but we only talked about people, friends, and relatives.
A year ago I had got a call from my birth mother, She let me know my sister was going home to die. She had lung cancer, and dealt with that for about 3 months. She is 12 years younger than me, and while not close, I loved her and sent the Christmas letters back and forth. I went to church, and I prayed for her death, that she may leave in a good way. If that is possible. She did die that week. I still don’t understand that a 42 year old woman, who is younger than me, can die.
At a grief support meeting, the leader talked about death, and that it can remind us of our own death. I guess I knew my dad was going to die, but I had no idea that would happen to either Mom. OK, I know they were in the 80’s, but my guts did not know that was possible. Maybe my mind can grasp it, but I could not feel it.