I only cried a little today, and I feel bad about it

I only cried 3 times today. It doesn't seem like enough. 8 days since my wife died.

I talked to the girl at the lottery counter and I made it through a few sentences.
I only yelled a little bit in the car.

Nobody else in her family seems broken up. The kids seem fine. Am I wrong to be so sad? It seems that, like she had said, I really was all that she had.
Maybe I am exhausted. Not maybe. I am exhausted. Just kind of staring today.
I am surrounded by old people. I am thankful for their help, well, Grandma's help, but I think I need to get out of here. I have not seen any of our friends since it happened. Have not seen a counselor or doctor. I suppose I should.

I am starting to doubt memories and I am not sure what actually happened anymore.

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First of all I want to say I'm sorry for your lost, I lost my fiancé not too long ago, I felt the same way, there's nothing wrong to cry, I'm still confuse myself, I miss him so much, sometime I feel like without him I just can't do it. Hang in there
Thank you Jennifer.
We were high school sweethearts. Together 26 years. I don't know how to live without her. I never thought I would have to. I don't want to. If not for our children, I would already be with her.
That's right, do it for your kids, you well see her agin

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