I had to put down my dying grandmother's dog. Do I tell her?

I was raised as if I were my grandmother's daughter. I even lived with her and helped to take care of her until she got pneumonia and had to be moved into a full time care facility. When she left the house, she left her 13 year old blind, deaf, and senile Yorkie to me. This Yorkie was a shut in for 13 years and once in my care, I gave her 6 of the best months of her life before I had to put her down, the day before christmas eve. She was my grama's constant companion for so long that I feel awful not telling her, but I keep being told by my parents that telling grama about this loss would only be detrimental. Grama is literally in the course of wasting away bodily, but her mind is still rapt. I feel that she knows Im sad and keeping something from her, but Im afraid my parents are right about it simply causing undue stress. What do I do? What is right? Im mourning this dog we both cared for so much, but have to keep it secret from the woman who cared for her most. And lying to my grama in her last few months is not something I can do with a clear conscious.

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Permalink Reply by Ruby Smith on January 5, 2010 at 2:08pm
What a tough situation, with no clear or right answer! If you decide to not tell her I wouldn't look at it as lying to her, I would think of it as sparing her some grief while on this earth...Thinking of you!
Permalink Reply by Susan Kay Hatton on February 14, 2010 at 12:27pm
I grieve with you and I don't envy you this decision. While I can't tell you what to do I will share my thoughts with you.
I think your grandmother has probably lived through many harsh realities and I suspect she is tougher than everyone is giving her credit for. I would tell her in the most loving manner I could muster. It sounds like she knows something is up and I think it is more stress for her to keep wondering what is going on.
You have enough grief right now without the burden of hiding this. Somehow the truth will always come out, better it comes from you. God bless you and I hope you find the strength to make the decison that is best for you and your grandmother.

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