I am looking for people who have been widowed over two years to talk to

It has been over two years for me and I'm just curious how others at this stage are doing. 

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Just got here. Widowed at age 28. It took 18 hours from healthy wife to no more wife. That was nearly 8 years ago. She wanted me to move on and I wanted the same for her if I went first... strange that we had the conversation mere months before her death.

Society and the dating scene have both made me extremely unhappy and I know that the right-minded woman would be nothing but a balm to my aching soul, but finding one that isn't hiding or covered in PTSD is like literally looking for a miracle in Hell. I can't sleuth out the hiders and PTSD keeps them running away from phantoms and illusions that simply have no form or substance. It's really not fair at all.
I'm learning new things and becoming increasingly useful so that I can pass on skills and helpful information to kids. They are the folks that come after us and they don't deserve to suffer like we do/did. I do what I can but I'm about 80% emotionally offline due to lack of a beloved to adore and play with.

Se la vie... if this is life, anyway.

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