how to not cry while saying goodbye?

the title is a literal question unfortunately :(

my boss (70ish) is one of the greatest guys I've ever met and he's getting ready to pass from cancer. he's probably not going to last the month, but he has good days and bad. he's still able to take calls and visitors right now, in fact he really wants to see us (his staff) because our agency is his pride and his joy, and he's always looked after us like family

i want to call him to chat or stop by to see him. he gets a lot of joy out of one of us calling him to ask for advice, really just to give him the chance to give it to us because he wants to still feel needed

the problem is that I'm a huge crybaby

i cry probably everyday to and from work in the car. i tear up and have to fight it if any clients ask me how he's doing. sometimes i have to just shut my door randomly during the day and try to work while ignoring the fact I'm close to tears for no reason. i'm even crying now and it's kind of hilarious because i know it's ridiculous but i can't help myself

i just know the second i step into the room or he picks up the phone, i'm going to start SOBBING and i don't want the last time i see him to be like that. like yes i want him to know how much it means to me being part of his team & how much he means too. but i also want to keep it light-hearted, and to visit with him without it being heavily a "this is the last time we will see each other on this side" even though it is. and i only have one goodbye, it's not like i get to try again. and i don't want it to be with him trying to comfort me because i can't hold myself together

sorry that's a whole lot to get to my question, i've just never dealt with someone dying before, only death if that makes sense. ive lost friends and family but only ever in unexpected/sudden ways, never to sickness where i know it's going to happen

does anyone have any tips on how to keep my composure? secret breathing techniques? any hidden switches i can flip in my head so i can chat with him like he'll be back in his office monday? how to say goodbye with a smile?

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Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on October 10, 2025 at 12:56am

it is hard to say goodbye especially when they're still here it is so hard

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