Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on February 3, 2015 at 4:57pm

im so sorry for yore loss

only ths site has stopt me for doing it or others on hear 2 

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on February 3, 2015 at 7:16pm

I don't know.  I feel as you do. I don't want to be here.

Some people say that they've found a grief counselor or grief counseling/support group has helped them. Other people find that writing helps them. Other people finds that exercise helps them. Other people find that being with other loved ones helps them. Maybe you could try one or more of those things.

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Permalink Reply by Malcolm on February 4, 2015 at 4:43pm

Those are good ideas. I'm just trying to forget her but I can't and I can't accept that she gone. I can't go out on dates and I can't interact with people sincerely

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Permalink Reply by bluebird on February 4, 2015 at 5:02pm

That's all right, I can't do any of those things either.

There's no reason for you to forget your girlfriend -- you love her, she is part of you.  If anyone is telling you that you should "just forget her and move on", they are insensitive and just plain wrong.  I saw on your page that she died a year ago....I'm not surprised you can't go on dates, why should you? She only died a year ago.  I mean, for some people that's enough time, but personally I don't understand those people. My husband died just over two years ago, and I will never date or be in a relationship again.  I am married to him, and I always will be. 

It's probably a bit different for you.  Maybe eventually you will want to date someone else, and there's nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy.  But don't try to force yourself to get to that point -- if and when you reach that point, it will happen organically, when it's meant to, when you meet the right person.

I understand not accepting that your girlfriend is gone. I don't accept that my husband is gone, either, and I never will. His death has destroyed my life, and made whatever is left of my life here a misery.  This life is unreal to me now -- like literally unreal, as though I am living in a nightmare all the time. I hope it gets better for you.

I don't know if there is an afterlife or not, but if there is then all I want is to be there with my husband (and eventually our other loved ones).  If you believe in god and an afterlife, I hope that belief brings you some peace.

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Permalink Reply by Malcolm on February 5, 2015 at 12:15am

Thank you, I hope that it gets better for you as well

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Permalink Reply by Felicia Evans on February 9, 2015 at 1:14pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I keep going because I know I'm here for a reason and because I know for a fact my mom would want me to keep going. But it's sooooo hard...so I know what you're going through because that's how I feel sometime. Then I shake it off...I'm going to counseling for other things and I'm going to a grief group tonight.

I hope you begin to heal soon...it take a long time so don't worrry...take all the time you need.

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