Hello,

This is my first time here because I wanted to connect with others that are experiencing several forms of grief.    First let me start by saying that I lost my mom about a year and a half ago and it still seems unreal, though I had, what they call anhedonia where you have a lack of feelings or emotions, not because I didn't love or care for my mom, but it was as if I detached myself mentally from the feelings.  I actually feared grieving.  Anyway, the situation that I am facing now is that I have a very good friend that lives in another city away and he had just lost his mother on Monday.  I never met her or anything, but what hit me the most is that he was visiting me and ended up having to cut the visit short to get back home because she was not in good condition.  He was able to make it back and she passed away later on that night.

Well, from the time he left until the time he sent a message to say that she had passed and thereafter, I have been feeling like I've been burdened, like I hurt and almost felt depressed and have had to push myself out of those types of feelings.  I think the other part is that I am not able to see or talk with him because one he lives far away, two, he is grieving, and three he knows a gazillion people which I'm sure are at his side.  I just feel helpless and left out, but I do understand that he needs his space.

jI don't know what to do or think but I can say that this was so close to home and I felt like I felt the sting as well.  It hurts and I don't know what to do.  Then the ohters side is that I didn't know her, but I know him, but it's weighing heavy on me.  I really don't know how to describe it.  Does anyone or has anyone ever experienced anything like that?

I think what hurts is that the year my mom passed, we had visited with one another and four to five months later my mom passed.  He reached out to me and one of his goals was to make it down here to see me and see how I was doing and now this happens.

I tried calling tonight, but it went to voice mail.  Any suggestions as to when I should reach out again or should I wait a while after everything settles down and then reach out?