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Permalink Reply by Denise Powers Fabian on January 29, 2011 at 3:08pm

Molly:

You are safe.  I cannot say that I have had the loss you're experiencing, but I know a lot of grief that is disenfranchised.  I was even considering starting a group for Disenfranchised Grief and Chronic Sorrow.

 

Be gentle with yourself, taking very good of you!

Denise

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Permalink Reply by Molly Smith on January 31, 2011 at 10:27am

Thank you so much...this is my first response.  I am so alone.  I have been working in depth with a grief advisor, with the idea of starting this kind of group with her...but there has been no luck.  Pls. keep in touch and let me know how you are going about starting this group if/when you do.  You will never know what this email meant to me.

 

Tracy

 

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Permalink Reply by Babs on August 5, 2011 at 2:27pm

Hi Molly, I am so so sorry for your loss, grief is always hard to deal with but to try and do it alone is so much more painful, it is hard to move on from that kind of dienfranchised grief. I have suffered two deaths of people very close to me where I have had to grieve alone, one was a similar situation to yours. I was involved with a married man for ten years but nobody knew how close we were. We had actually ended the relationship,(kind of, we never said goodbye or discussed ending it, that was too painful) I always thought we would get back together when the time was right.He died 2 years later but I didn't find out until six years later, last year when on one of my searches on the internet for him I found a memorial tribute from his parents. It has been a struggle to grieve alone. You have every right to grieve for the man you loved. I once read somewhere the qoute "my grief is no less because you think it should be" so very true. Big hugs. Babs

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Permalink Reply by Connie J on January 2, 2013 at 3:12am

I am so sorry for your loss Molly!  Grief itself is difficult, but to lose someone whom you never shared with others makes the healing journey oh so much harder!  "B" and I were together (even though he was married) for nearly three decades.  I am trying to take the love that we experienced into my new life, not the circumstances in which I have loved.  I am sending you lots of hugs, sympathy and love.  xx

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