My wife died 5 days ago.
We were together 26 years and 1 month, to the day.
My only job was to take care of her as she had an autoimmune disease which beat her up.
We were surviving on her disability for a short time while in the process of moving into a new state and house, we just started making new friends, while raising our twins.
Now I am in a basement at their grandmother's house, have no income, no money, no job, and 2 houses to empty and 2 children to raise.
The twins have bronchitis and I have strep.
I cannot eat or sleep.

I feel guilt and sadness.
I only stopped crying constantly today.
I am sick, exhausted, sad, angry, feeling guilty, and disgusted with myself.

I should have taken better care of her.
I should have done better in the crisis moment.