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Permalink Reply by Liz N on February 17, 2014 at 11:01am

My 33 year old son was murdered in a robbery where he worked last March.  How do I deal with it?  He was a good man and I know he is in Heaven.  The coroner said he died instantly and did not suffer.  We, his family are suffering however and miss him more than words can express.

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Permalink Reply by Ali on February 17, 2014 at 2:44pm

Hi Liz. It was 4 years on the 12th of Feb that I lost my parents. Murder make it so much more unjust. Its not natural. So we are battling with loss, shock, anger and the injustice of it. What I can tell u is the following. The first year was terrible. Physically my body was giving up from the shock. Second year we sat thru the court case and relived everything. Ones body ages from the stress. Then third year ppl start moving on, while us relive the moment day by day and u start dreading u bring up the subject, even though its on ur mind constantly. Year 4....I learn to live with it. This was my parents...u a child...no parent should go thru that....but u have to. My best friend lost her only child (15) by meningitis. From her experience I understand what u going thru, and for her its also just a year and a half. The both of us couldnt do it on our own. Our faith, where they are and the hope and trust in our Lord Jesus keeps us going. All I can ask of u is to take it one day at a time. Dont expect to feel better quick as a part of u was ripped from u. Take it slow and allow urself to go thru all the emotions. Keep connected to God. Thats my help. ..plus one day at a time.

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Permalink Reply by Liz N on February 17, 2014 at 3:15pm

Thanks for responding.  We are lucky in that we do not have to go through a trial.  My son's murderer left a trail and about 2 weeks later died in a shoot out with the police.  An officer was shot but recovered.

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Permalink Reply by Liz N on February 17, 2014 at 4:57pm

Thanks for your caring.  We do cry every day.  I work with a greatly supportive group of people who are very understanding and compassionate.  Many of them knew Ben and respected him for the volunteer work he did to help the population we serve in our school.  It is so hard to believe it will soon be a year and I think as the anniversary is approaching my husband and I are both having a more difficult time sleeping and coping.  I like to walk to relieve stress but with the winter being so awful here in the Midwest I can't get out to walk.

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Permalink Reply by Ali on February 17, 2014 at 3:30pm

Liz I pray ur heartache will not overcome ur day to day living. Anytime u need to vent please go ahead. In the meantime try to relive all the good memories no matter how it hurts. To cry is necessary for all of u. So so sorry. Xx

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Permalink Reply by Cyn Rios on March 11, 2014 at 7:03pm

My brother was murdered on June 22nd, he was the youngest of six. It was a triple homicide and the murderer was only 22 as were most of the victims.. There is still a lot I don't know of the circumstances, I struggle with not hating his killer. Throughout this time a lot of self reflection and appreciation..my siblings have all handled it differently, I am changed forever.. You never get over it, you just learn to live with it. I wish I had more time with him, I wish I could say he was an innocent bystander, but it was a bad crowd and bad choices. I think of him often and have found more peace and my way back to a God. It sucks I wish he died a natural death and was not taken. I miss him dearly, this website, Meds and of courseOur Heavenly Father help me cope and live with his death. Best of luck and blessings. Cyn

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Permalink Reply by Ali on March 11, 2014 at 11:17pm

Hi Cyn. So sorry. Yes...ur right. We learn to live with it. Like u say ..if it was natural it might have been easier. Im now off my meds . Its easier after 4 years. Because now I know when im going to take a dip. My closeness with our Father is only thing that helps. I pray to Jesus everyday for His protection. Stay in prayer with Him. Remember its okay to have all the emotions. Lay the killer at His feet as its not ur problem to deal with. Forgiveness is key to help us thru this. I know its difficult. Ive been there. I pray God helps u and ur loved ones thru this. One day we will see them again. What happiness.

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Permalink Reply by Cyn Rios on April 21, 2014 at 10:53pm

Thank you and yes without faith, who knows where we would nor, God Bless

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