cant get over it

i was just wondering if anyone can tell me if what im feeling is normal. my boyfriend of only 1 mont died 8 weeks ago suddenly in my house. he went to sleep and never woke up again. i feel so guilty as i was in the house and he was snoring really loudly turns out it wasnt snoring he was dying, i wish id have known and i couldve helped. i just cant get it out my head i think about it constantly and dont feel like doing anything, i just want to lock myself in the house and hide. i cant talk to anyone about it as they think i should be over it by know because i wasnt with him long but, its the fact that he died and i couldnt save him that hurts so so much.

Views: 90

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by At a loss on November 20, 2009 at 1:02pm
He was still apart of your life and that sounds very traumatic and I would think someone really never "gets over" something like that. I lost my uncle suddenly less then a month ago and people have basically told me I should "be over it" and go out and party like nothing happen, this has resulted in me isolating myself.
You are having to go through grief, losing a boyfriend and the trauma I think that is a lot to go through
Permalink Reply by Daisy Quinones on November 22, 2009 at 4:53pm
You obviously had feelings for him. The amount of time does not matter. You can't just "get over it."
If you did you would be an uncaring person.

My father died also suddenly this last July . Went to sleep and never woke up. He was not sick.

I know people dont tell me, but I can see it on their faces when I cry......
"It's been 4 months, get over it, everybody's parents die."

But I cant, I miss him so much. These are going to be horrible holidays...

Dont feel bad, I dont have the answer to stop your pain but I understand it. If I had the answer I would apply to
myself being that I feel so horrible.
Permalink Reply by Katherine Ellis on November 23, 2009 at 1:03pm
Our daughter died in front of us. She drown. It's not something you just get over with. It will take a lot of time. Have you thought about getting some outside help? Someone who deals with Trauma? That might help. Don't let anyone tell you what is or isn't normal. Grieve has many faces. It will get better but it takes time. Lots of time.
Permalink Reply by Tania Taylor on November 25, 2009 at 2:48pm
I hear that a lot... "get over it" The people who say this have obviously not gone through what we all have. A death whether sudden or over time is not something you can just get over. It doesn't matter if you knew them 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, or your whole life. It is something that stays with us always. I still deal with the guilt of my mother's passing. I don't know how long it will take to reduce my guilt, depression, feelings of not doing enough, but I know I did the best I could. I can say that regardless of how my mother died, she did die happy, in the place she wanted to be. I will always be grateful that she was not in any pain and that I did get to spend those last weeks with her. Cherish every moment you did have. Remember the good memories.
Permalink Reply by healing07 on November 30, 2009 at 1:45am
I feel so sorry for your loss and pay to the God to keep your boyfriend in peace and please come out of this grief as soon as possible for your haelth. Deaths are inevitable and we cannot prevent them. The ideas of helping him before his death is quite disturbing you. You must quit it and forget it and please be optimistic and look ahead for your better life and future.
May you have happiness in your life again and forever. God Bless you and your family. . . Verses for Sympathy Cards

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

david karpe posted a status
"I'm wondering if Myrna is well. Happy new year to Myrna and everybody."
Jan 15
0 Comments
david karpe is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 15
Welcome Them!
Sasha Moshko posted a discussion

My Fathers Loss

Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
Jan 14
0 Comments
Sasha Moshko left a comment for Sasha Moshko
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time. https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
Jan 14
MELANIE WALENDOWSKY BAKER is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 14
Welcome Them!
Krystal Swinehart joined Jodi Denton's group
Thumbnail

Traumatic loss of an only child

I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
Jan 12
61 Comments
Krystal Swinehart joined Dayna's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
Jan 12
1 Comment
Karen R. replied to Entony's discussion Movies about grief that actually understand loss — any recommendations?
"So sorry!💔💔💔💔💔"
Jan 2

© 2026   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service