Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by At a loss on November 20, 2009 at 1:02pm

He was still apart of your life and that sounds very traumatic and I would think someone really never "gets over" something like that. I lost my uncle suddenly less then a month ago and people have basically told me I should "be over it" and go out and party like nothing happen, this has resulted in me isolating myself.
You are having to go through grief, losing a boyfriend and the trauma I think that is a lot to go through

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Permalink Reply by Daisy Quinones on November 22, 2009 at 4:53pm

You obviously had feelings for him. The amount of time does not matter. You can't just "get over it."
If you did you would be an uncaring person.

My father died also suddenly this last July . Went to sleep and never woke up. He was not sick.

I know people dont tell me, but I can see it on their faces when I cry......
"It's been 4 months, get over it, everybody's parents die."

But I cant, I miss him so much. These are going to be horrible holidays...

Dont feel bad, I dont have the answer to stop your pain but I understand it. If I had the answer I would apply to
myself being that I feel so horrible.

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Permalink Reply by Katherine Ellis on November 23, 2009 at 1:03pm

Our daughter died in front of us. She drown. It's not something you just get over with. It will take a lot of time. Have you thought about getting some outside help? Someone who deals with Trauma? That might help. Don't let anyone tell you what is or isn't normal. Grieve has many faces. It will get better but it takes time. Lots of time.

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Permalink Reply by Tania Taylor on November 25, 2009 at 2:48pm

I hear that a lot... "get over it" The people who say this have obviously not gone through what we all have. A death whether sudden or over time is not something you can just get over. It doesn't matter if you knew them 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, or your whole life. It is something that stays with us always. I still deal with the guilt of my mother's passing. I don't know how long it will take to reduce my guilt, depression, feelings of not doing enough, but I know I did the best I could. I can say that regardless of how my mother died, she did die happy, in the place she wanted to be. I will always be grateful that she was not in any pain and that I did get to spend those last weeks with her. Cherish every moment you did have. Remember the good memories.

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Permalink Reply by healing07 on November 30, 2009 at 1:45am

I feel so sorry for your loss and pay to the God to keep your boyfriend in peace and please come out of this grief as soon as possible for your haelth. Deaths are inevitable and we cannot prevent them. The ideas of helping him before his death is quite disturbing you. You must quit it and forget it and please be optimistic and look ahead for your better life and future.
May you have happiness in your life again and forever. God Bless you and your family. . . Verses for Sympathy Cards

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