The pain hurts so much, I feel so along without my soulmate, he was everything to me, the one I dream of having family with. I jus can't live with this silent, bury my feeling everyday, pretend everything is ok, but I'm hurting and I have no one that I can feel to open up to. I'm crying in pain, it's been a while since I wrote on here, I just wasn't feeling it to do anything. My mom thinks once I get my life together, have a job soon, going to gym meet new friends, that I would feel better, and that one day I will find someone, but it's not that easy, she don't need to tell me what's better for me now, I don't know what's better for me, I just know that I'm hurting and I don't know how much space I have to bury my feelings. I miss him so much.