I know we all talk left handedly about taking our own lives to escape our pain or, in my case, pain and reuniting with Nancy! But, how far have we gone towards actually making our plans for the great escape. I know that in the past few days the level of pain and loss has ratcheted to a level that is virtually unbearable. I am 68 years old and cannot see a future ahead. I see total darkness and that's on a good day. I am not particularly frightened by the prospect of leaving this earth, rather excited by my belief I will see my Nancy again. I have many means at my disposal to expedite my exit and as days go by I think of these more often. At this point, I am still clinging tenaciously to life and the hope I will find some satisfaction here although I doubt it. If and when I would make the decision to "shuffle off the coil" I would do it quickly, I know that! I only address this because we are all so miserable without our soul mates and more than anything are seeking a way to deal with these dark intrusive thoughts and leave the permanent solution to a temporary problem where it belongs...as a non-option!   Mel