Barbra Ingrassia Fairman
  • Female
  • Hurleyville, NY
  • United States
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  • Sue Waxman
  • Arielle

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About Me:
I'm 44, married with a beautiful, spoiled 4 year old daughter. I have a pretty good marriage and life. I have a good job as a secratary for a nursing home. My husband also has a good job where he recently got a promotion and I am currently living in the home of my brother that has passed away.
About my Loss:
My brother died almost 11 months ago from glioblastoma. He was in NYU, being treated by so called genusis.I put my life on hold and made the hospital my new home(a year ago that was my life).They said he had 6 months maybe 8. He only had 3. The dr's messed up and I have to live with this. I'm having a moment
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At 10:59am on July 14, 2011, Sue Waxman said…

Hi Barbara,

I am saddened by your loss. I lost my mother 2 weeks ago to cancer. She went so quickly. I am feeling we all comfort each other on this site and I am very much here for you as much as you need me to be. I have 2 sisters who don't want anything to do with me. They say they can't give me what I need?????? Talk about dysfunction. You were blessed with the love of your brother. Mom was all I had left. She was a gentle and lovely person who I adored. I refuse to allow myself to be angry because she is no longer suffering. But I am angry that she destroyed her body by smoking cigarettes. She quit 20 years ago and it came back and ravaged her little body. I know you, me and all of the others on the site have a gigantic hole in our hearts. Nothing can replace it. I just find a reason to make it through each day that brings me closer to my departure from this planet. I have my faith that I will be with Mother again. Otherwise ....what is it all about? Huggs Sue

At 8:34pm on June 4, 2011, Arielle said…
Hi Barbra. Just saw your post. So simple but so true. I feel exactly the same way. It's so much better when I just let myself live with a level of disbelief. My brain doesn't want to accept it and I'm not going to force it.
I moved into a new apartment yesterday and it made me so sad because my brother would have been so excited and enthusiastic, saying how "awesome" everything is.
But I also thought of his laugh the other day and actually smiled thinking of it, without even realizing. It was the first time I thought of something like that without tears in my eyes.
Therapy and medication really help!
At 6:55pm on April 29, 2011, Arielle said…
Hi Barbra. I'm so glad you reached out. I know there is no way I can make it through this alone.
At 7:48pm on April 14, 2011, Arielle said…

Hi Barbra-

 

My heart is breaking right along with yours. I also lost my brother. Almost seven months ago, September 27, 2010. Adam was only 41. Married with two young boys. He had a very aggressive Lymphoma and passed only about 90 days after his diagnosis. He was at Staten Island University Hospital. And he suffered tremendously, in part because of the terrible care he received. He had one infection after the next, and eventually they were unable to proceed with the chemo because of it.

 

I am tormented by the horrific images and memories. And that I didn't hug him enough. Or tell him how much I loved him and how important he was to all of us. I almost can't bear thinking about what his boys are going through. Or my parents.

 

I have nothing to say that can make you feel better. But you are certainly not alone in your grief.

 

Arielle

 
 
 

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