Cindy
  • Female
  • Fort Lawn, SC
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm a 34 year old CNA, from the south with a husband who is a part-time electrician and a full time bass player with a typical teenage daughter.
About my Loss:
Ok well, like I said I'm 34, both of my parents have died with the big C. That word is horrible to me. My dad passed when I was 20, my mom just six months ago. I am having a hard time. I cry alot sleep alot in between work and trying to take care of my family. I dream about them almost every night. Sometimes I'm happy when I wake up then others I cry because I woke up.

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At 8:39pm on April 21, 2016, Cindy said…
I haven't been on here in awhile. Just been going with the motions. Get up without thinking, get dressed go straight to the out the door to work, get off come home blocking it all out. Then, I have my days where bam it hits me, the two people that created me, raised me and loved me for so long aren't here. And the tears fall and I just shake my head in disbelief and keep moving. I use to understand this thing we call life, it was all starting to make sense. Then, they left me and now I just don't understand why we are brought into this world and are introduced to family who are supposed to love you and take care of you. And even when you get grown they still love you and you'll always be there baby, but no not me, I reach true adulthood and they're gone.
At 10:11pm on December 2, 2015, Mary Smith said…

Yes, and it has helped me just to put my thoughts down - in this anonymous format.  To know that I'm not alone on this path- that there are hundreds of others out there mourning for ones they have loved - their pain just as deep - in some weird way it is comforting.

At 6:47pm on December 2, 2015, Cindy said…
I do too. Thank you for your kindness. I think I am doing the right thing by joining the group.
At 6:30pm on December 2, 2015, Mary Smith said…

Cindy, I understand - I'm older but when I lost my dad in my 30's I cried every morning for six months - every morning.  I would pull myself together and go to work and wonder why people couldn't see I was shattered.  I lost my mother in my 40's and remember being sad, but nothing like the loss of my dad - which is odd, since I loved them both and was closer to my mom.  Being without both of them at 34 must be rough - but perhaps they are visiting you in your dreams to let you know they are still there - around you, loving you.  I do believe their spirits live on.

 
 
 

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Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 19
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

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