Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Carl accomando
- Male
- Winterville, NC
- United States
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- Groups (2)
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Profile Information
- About my Loss:
- Lost my wife last week after 43 years of marriage after a long battle with cancer
Groups
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
45 members
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Loss of a loved one to a…
3 members
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Grief Counseling
141 members
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Sibling Loss
10 members
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Losing My Sister
5 members
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Losing a Sister
94 members
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Funeral Service
2 members
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I miss my Mom!
751 members
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LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
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Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
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Too Young To Die
17 members
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Multiple Losses Group
324 members
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Zoom Grief Support
39 members
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Orphaned Adults
80 members
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Sole Survivors
15 members
Latest Activity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
"is griefshare a website like this?"
"Kali
I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal.
Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
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I would but i have nothing to do with Roanoke va. Im in boston.
Carl, thank you for the friend request.
Hi Carl. I so remember going through just what you describe. All the stupid details! And at such a horrible time when all you want to do is lay in bed and cry.
How long were you married?
I had to file bankruptcy because Rocky had no money saved and no life insurance. What a mess. I got through it. Crying all the way.
What meds are you taking (if you don't want to say that's ok) I take Wellbutrin and some new drug Vyrall (I think) it's new and I'm not sure but I think between the two I can keep myself under control. I'm not sobbing constantly anymore. I'm able to get stuff done that needs doing. It's not a fix or anything, but it helps. Meds take a while to work.
I haven't attempted to do anything with his office so I know what you mean. It feels overwhelming. So I just don't. It will happen when it happens. I wish one of my daughters would come and help me, but I don't even want to ask. Its just so much....so I just look at it once and a while, then shut the door.
And I'm lonely too. So very lonely. I don't know if that ever lets up.
I wish you well....I know what you are feeling if that helps at all.
Kathy
Hi Carl, So sorry about your loss....Nancy was a native Roanoker and I am from Iowa...I got a job through the trades at a local radio station and moved to Roanoke. Nancy and I met at a divorce support group at a local church and 2 years later were married in 1991. SO, I am a transplanted Iowan who is now a Roanoker for the past 26 years. If you gett o towm let me know and we could get together. I always wonder what all the folks here look like...a get together wold be really something. Mel
I lost my husband after 55+ years of a wonderful, loving marriage. It has been just over a year, and I think of him every day. It has not gotten better, but I just try to keep busy and distracted. Meltdowns come and go if a memory is sparked, and I believe I will never really be over this loss. The brain will not allow us to erase memories, and I wouldn't want to, but the memories are double edged. They bring the ache and longing for them to be real again.
I have said this before on this post that these "golden years", that are supposed to be filled with comfort and ease, should not end this way. We were supposed to lay back and really enjoy life and the love of our lives. It seems so unfair that this is the way we now have to live.
Life seems to be dealing us a cruel hand.
Try to keep distracted, or you will drown in sorrow. You will cry and sob and maybe you will have to do this for a while. Sooner or later, you will realize you must do something to ease the pain - be it a hobby, friends, work or something. If not, you will be in a constant bad place.
I wish i could give you some advice. But there is none. It is horrible. Im just trying to stay alive another day. Ive tried counseling, grief groups -- all seem like bullshit but they may help you. Its been 2 months for me and just getting out of bed is an accomplishment. Christmas alone will be tough. I wish you the best. Maybe you are tougher than me.
Yes this is hard hardest is night time seems like the whole day catches up with you
Carl,
this is a hard, rough road called grief and you will find it impossible at times. Just take baby steps. Don't expect anything of yourself. You are too much in shock. Try to do one or two things a day. A shower and eat will be about all you can do for months.
This is also a good website to read for you will begin to understand that what you are feeling is what happens so it is not strange. Everything people write about you will be feeling. And cry. That is for me one of the things that releases the pressure. I have cried rivers in the past three years and ten months.
I am sos sorry you are here but it truly is one of the best places to be. Most of the outside world cannot understand the pain of losing your spouse but we can. Nothing can prepare you for what this is like so all of us share what we can.
Take it an hour at a time and if that is too much take it by the minute. And most of us keep going. It's all we've got. Take care Carl.
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