In the blink of an eye......gone

I lost my only daughter and unborn grandson. They were killed on October 17, 2016.  An 18 wheeler decided to do a u-turn on a rural county road, in the fog at 6am. My daughter never saw the trailer.  Our family is so lost, heartbroken, angry, and numb.  Her life was just getting started.  They had just bought their first home, the baby was due Dec 6th.  A baby shower was planned for Oct 22nd.  Instead, we had a funeral.  

I have gone back to work.  I hold up until lunch and then fall apart.  When I get home in the evenings it's a pain so unbearable.  I've always been able to help or guide my daughter when she was sick, sad, happy, or mad.  I can't help her now and it haunts me.  I feel so helpless. '

People tell me, "I know how you feel, I lost my mom/dad/uncle.  I want to yell "NO YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL"  I lost my parents about 10yrs ago...this is a different kind of hurt.  I lost MY BABY!  

I joined this group hoping to be there for other mothers/fathers who have lost their child.  I know I need all the support of people who understand.

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Permalink Reply by Patty on November 7, 2016 at 10:48am

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss, Robin.  It's such a horrible tragedy.  I too lost my only daughter.  She was killed in an accident with an impaired driver.  She was at college when it happened.  The driver got 120 days and probation for taking a life.  It's all so unfair.  I know just getting through the morning at work is hell for you. And for those people who compare this to the loss of of a mother or father I just want to scream "When you lose all your children then come and tell me you know how I feel!"  They do not have a freaking clue.  This loss is so off the charts they can't have the slightest idea.  I am sending you a hug.  Please be gentle with yourself because the world really doesn't get it.  ~ Patty

Permalink Reply by Patti Hazen on December 23, 2016 at 10:08am

hello

Permalink Reply by Lenny on February 11, 2017 at 5:10pm
Hello Robin. Sadly I am a mother who also lost her only child and daughter in a car accident . I also along with my husband feel like no one really understands and have been shocked at what some well meaning family and friends have said to us. I have distanced myself from many and can't cope with socialising any more. I returned to work too ,for almost a year ... I felt as though I didn't have the space to think about my daughter and I cried the moment I got in my car to go home. We sold up and now live on a boat . I'm working part time again for a while but I'm not as I used to be and the world has changed forever .
I'm so sorry you lost your precious daughter and your grandchild , that is unbelievably cruel .

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