So I'm feeling pretty pissed and upset about some things just figured it would be better to get them out then hold them in. It breaks my heart to know that my grandma didn't get to say goodbye and none of us got to say goodbye to her. It doesn't seem fair. She had two heartattacks in one day, the second one was a massive heart attack and killed her. She went into the hospital that day think she'd be coming home. It doesn't seem fair. She was taken So suddenly. And I hear So many people saying they said thirty goodbyes or they sat with thier loved one as they slipped away. It just makes me sad to think I never got to say goodbye anxious never will. I never got to tell her I love her one last time. But don't get me wrong I know there are soooo many people who lost people to terminal illnesses and thing like that who wish it would have been quick and free of suffering. I'm not writing this to offend anyone. Nor am I saying I wish my grandma would have been I'll. I'm glad when got to go quickly and what I'd like to think was somewhat painless. I just don't know how to like at this. I guess In the end, there's No easy way to lose someone. It's been five Months and five days since I lost my grandma . When does this hurting finally subside? I have No idea how in the world I'm going to make it through Christmas without her...