Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Robin Williams on April 22, 2011 at 7:18am

I'm so sorry to hear about your Ma.  I'm even sorrier for the upcoming weeks that you will have.  I know that it will not be easy.  I know my Moma wouldn't want me to be unhappy and people are ready for me to move on but it's so much easier said than done.  I cried every day for the first 4 months and now my grief is coming out in physical ways....mainly through chest pain.  Since my doctor can find no physical reason for the pain I have been diagnosed w/ anxiety disorder, depression & post traumatic stress.  Crazy huh?  I'm not sure when the crying stops.  I no longer cry every day but I still cry frequently.  I wish someone had the magical answer of when it gets a little bit easier other than saying time makes it easier.  I would love all of the help I can get.  I tried a therapist but it didn't work for me so I'm hoping that by talking w/ others going through the same pain that will help me.  I'm sure we will do each other some good!!!  What is your site?

 

Permalink Reply by sharon on May 4, 2011 at 8:49pm

Robin

i must have to say i went through the same thing chest pains  and what not ,  all  ity was  stress  costed mine after my mother died , in nov 2nd,,  this is not a easy time  i am still having  a hard time for my self  its mother day coming  and  its   going to hitt  me ton of walls  at oneice.  i read 9 step of  losin a love  one  and done the work sheets   you may want to go to greif share support group  i went  and still goin  and  helps to hear the other peoples storys  and watch  a vidio as well , its  pretty amazing group.  i  do like it,

 

sharon

Permalink Reply by Robin Williams on May 6, 2011 at 5:46pm

Sharon-

Thanks for the reply.  Not to be too nosy but how long have you had the chest pain?  I have had mine for 5 loooong months.  I think it is partly because I cannot accept what has happened.  How do you have someone for 33 years and then one day they are gone?  Thanks for mentioning griefshare....I actually went through the program in September.  Unfortunately I wasn't with a very interactive group so it didn't help too much.  I am thinking of doing it again though.

 

Permalink Reply by sharon on May 6, 2011 at 10:54pm

Robin

Mine chest pains  come  2 mos  after i experince my ma's death  they didnt stay long  but it felt like a heart attack for sure   it was stress cased it  i am sorry that that group didnt work out for you, i am still going to it  it helped me lots,,  Did u get  a work book to work on the pages  everyday  i did and i really think it was not going  to work for me  but it did,,  i will pray for you and i hope you are feeling better now. sharon

Permalink Reply by Marie Carr on June 12, 2011 at 4:53pm

Please please dont ignore chest pains.  My Dad was told it was a chest infection.  We lost my Mum nine months before we lost him.  It turned out to be angina. 

 

My partner had chest pains two years ago, I called emergency services and he was taken into hospital after calling them out three of for times over a week n a half or so.  They kept testing n saying every thing was fine.  Eventually he was give medication then an op which saved him.  His atery was ninety nine percent closed.  He is doing fine now. If one doc doesnt help get a second and third and forth opinion.  Get tested, please. God bless you.

 

Permalink Reply by sharon on June 12, 2011 at 5:03pm

Thanks so much for the comment  and carcerns about the chest pain  i have no  had  it no more  ..   but mine  was stress related and what not i am healthy as get out .  and  test  after test   they done  was normal,  i know where  u are coming with this  because my son  has heart promblems has well.  i know what  to  look at. when  it happans,

 

GodBless you

sharon

 

Permalink Reply by Marie Carr on June 12, 2011 at 5:02pm

I really think any one who has chest pains should make the docs refer them to hospital.  In fact if they are even quite bad, should ring emergancy service.  Please dont leave things n just assume as you need to know for sure.  I lost my Dad cos he didnt make enough of a fuss and just trusted docs opinion.  Its yr life you have a right to as many opinions as you wish.  I would ve lost my partner if i hadnt rang emergancy services every time he complained of chest pain.  He even told me to leave it as he thought it would just go away eventually.  Im so glad i ignored that.  He had medication and then an op which saved his life.  I wish My Dad had made a fuss instead of leaving things.  I love him and miss him so much.  god bless you.

Permalink Reply by sharon on May 4, 2011 at 8:40pm

Resee 

I am sorry for your lost of your mother  as  i am leaning  into the same boat  as you are.  i  lost mine mother in nov 2nd  and  the hoildays  were not easy  to do .  and  now  i am going  to deal with mother's day  as  i went out to buy few things   i  had some tears  because people buying  cards  and hanging baskets for there mom. whaat  can we do think of the good past mother days with her and i am  going  to take flowers out for her this year  and vist with her  that will  be her gift from me to her.  it will  get easyer  hard time but it we can pull off  pray to god  and he will help you  and will answer prayers.. 

Blessings  Sharon

Permalink Reply by sharon on May 6, 2011 at 12:33am

Resee

Thank you for writing back to me  as i read your post it brought tears to my eyes  because there is times that my mom and i talked 10 times a day a well  and as i was coming home tonight i told my boyfreind that this is going  to be strange with out mom not being here  and we went by the restarnt where i took my mom to eat every year for mothers day!  it brought back memberies again. all i have  is a sister  and uncle left in my family besides mine 2 children  and grandbaby  my sister   doesnt talk to me  and i do stay intouch with my uncle often.. before my ma died we talked on the phone  and she asked me to come down and stay with her that night  we hong up and she told me I LOVE YOU !  that will be in my heart for long time, and as  i traveled down that night the doctors called  me  and told me she was not going  to make it in the night  so i rushed to the hospital  and  as i was walking in there i heard  code Blue  ICU .  Yes   it was her will the family had only 15 mins  and  she  was gone  it was so sudden for us  and we  wwere not ready for this as well.. on to this day i still blame my self of not being  there for her  when she asked  me to be,,  but i guess it was meant to be for her time  to go home with the lord  and  rest of her family  and her husband too. my dad  died in 1988 so know they are joined togather again,  like my boy freind  says  pray to god  and  talk to her on mother's day or even on any hoilday  she  will be listening ,  and she  will be in sprit with me.

i hope  we both can make it thourgh this hard time daring mother's day.  i will  be praying  for you  and thinking  about you on that day too.  i hope  we can stay intouch with each other  and share the experinces we are going  to be going through,   have  you heard  a support group called greif share  its  a treffic group  and  wounderful storys   people  are experinceing with their greifing.. www.greifshare.com  give  it a try ... i did  and i am still going .   they  will  give you a work book and study and in the group there  is a video  you can go by and answer qestions as well..  its wounderful..

have  a good weekend  and  take care   talk soon  Sharon

Permalink Reply by Dana Jarrett on April 23, 2011 at 2:53pm

I just lost my Mom on March 23. It was a very shocking sudden loss. My father shot her and then committed suicide but he did not die until the 24. My mom was my best friend. Her and my sister were always there for me anytime, anywhere. I am so lost without my mom. I feel the same way about Mother's day~ we always spoiled her and she always would say "Yall just make a fuss over me". We are dreading this Mother's day and all the ones to come. We are hoping and praying to get her headstone delivered by then but they say that may be impossible. I know she isn't in that grave and that is just her body, But that is the only gift we can get her this year and we just really need to do this for her.

Permalink Reply by Robin Williams on April 23, 2011 at 3:49pm

Dana-

I am so sorry for your tragic loss.  I'm so glad that you have all of the memories of your previous Mother's Days but I know that it does not make things any easier.  I really hope that you are able to have her headstone delivered in time if that you will bring you some sort of peace. 

 

Permalink Reply by Amy Kolacz on May 13, 2011 at 2:47am

I have met a great woman named Sherry Cohen, she runs a grief healing service to which I am attending.  Her biggest lesson is that your feelings are normal and natural.  And also the pain never ends because your heart is broken and changed forever...BUT that the pain fades to bearable limits once you are TRULY honest with yourself and work through all the unanswered issues left by the absence of such an instrumental loss.  I have finally come to terms with the fact my life will NEVER be the same again and still have bad times like tonight.  Yet look I am here I am talking and I am somewhat functional... much more so then before.  Soo to answer everyone, it does get better but to get better be truly honest with YOU and let go of all the tough things left lingering from HER not being here.  Because lets be honest no matter how old they are when they leave NO ONE can replace a mommy/mom/mother/ma.  She gave you life in one way or another, ie I am adopted, she has ALWAYS been there and now suddenly she's not.  It is tough but believe me if you are honest and hold on to those who wanna be there for you..even if its just those online here, you will make it..one day sooner then you think.

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