Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Julie Ann Finch on April 12, 2011 at 6:20pm

There is no time limit on grief. You need to feel the pain and talk about it as much as possible. The pain will lessen with time. I have been grieving for 6 months. The hardest part for me is guilt. Still thinking about the "what if's." I feel bad for you and I hope things get easier.

Permalink Reply by Sean Casey on April 15, 2011 at 8:17pm

I hear you.  My wife was found on February 4th this year, having gone to a hotel to OD.  I go back and forth on wishing I could talk to her, sometimes really wanting to get the chance and other times not wanting to hear from or see her ever again.  I also know what you mean about having a hard time with facing life without her.  I'm still in the middle of going through her things, finishing up her afairs, and it seems like a lot of times that's all I'm focused on right now.  It's hard to think of what it'll be like once that's all done, wondering how to fill up my time & life again.  I wish I knew when it'd get better.  I hear from friends that it's going to take a long time, that the first year is the hardest.  I know intellectually they mean well, but it's just depressing to hear that right now.  I don't know when I'll feel better.  The best I can say right now is that on days where I just have to go to work and won't have time or energy to deal with her stuff I feel like I can make it through the day.  Weekends 'n' all are harder, as there's not the structure or tasks to escape into.

 

I do know that talking about it has helped, even if it's just for awhile.  I hope you keep doing so.  Right now I'm holding on to what people have said that it will eventually get better.  For right now, it just seems like the task is getting through, just keeping on putting one foot in front of the other.

Permalink Reply by Ruby Taylor on April 19, 2011 at 5:43pm

First, I would like to send my deepest condolence to you. '

Your experience is very normal. As for your feelings getting worse and not better is a reality many grievers face. The reasons vary but one major reason is the shock factor. In the beginning the shock of your husband’s death made it a total shock - once the shock wears off and reality begins and the pain can increase. The great thing Kelly is when we feel we can heal. The ability to know what you are feeling and expressing your feeling is the key to healing.

The top 5 things to increase healing

1-      Embrace your feelings

2-      Express your feelings

3-      Allow your support system to assist you

4-      Give yourself time

5-      Never forget to inhale and exhale  

 

"Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it." ~Jacques Prévert~

 

Peace, Comfort and Blessings

 

 

Ruby

GRIEF OUT HEALING IN

Permalink Reply by David A on May 26, 2011 at 7:33pm

While no one can feel your pain and words may offer some comfort people still love you and want to help. I have found talking to others about my loss give me a bit of comfort I may not have had the moment before.  Cry whenever you want to and often if that's your desire.  My significant other would often refer to me as "My David" and I would refer to her as "My Lisa". My cousin stated that her and her husband never refer to each other is such a loving way.  They say time heals and there is no time limit.  Take care of yourself first..

Permalink Reply by tammi sue maczorowski on May 28, 2011 at 11:37pm

Kelly I am so sorry for your loss. I know it has been only three months so it is rather fresh. My husband died of an accidental perscription drug overdose 7 months ago. I know it might be hard to believe, but the pain does get easier. I do have a strong faith, which also helps me through this time. Without God I would not beable to do it. It does hurt, I know I keep thinking he is coming home any minute. It hurts when reality sets in again. I have joined a christain singles site. It has helped me I have made some great christain friends. I am not ready to date. Yet, I have thought about it. If i found the right one maybe. I felt guilty about this. Then i realized he is not coming back. I will see him in heaven someday. Until then i have to wait. I hope and pray for your healing. you can write me if you want. Since we have both lost spouces. my husband was 32. take care tammi